Tuesday, 3 November 2015

The Poppy

For audio click here
“Where’s the PM?” Caroline, the press officer, asked no one in particular.
“Oh it’s Sunday, you won’t see him until at least Monday afternoon, he’s probably at home, or at Chequers or something. Why?” Donald, the deputy spin-doctor, took a lazy bite out of his bacon roll.
‘It’s Remembrance week,” Caroline said, “and I don’t have a picture of the PM wearing a poppy.”
“Well, you’re not going to get one now are you?” Donald said, looking pleased with himself. He knew they were all on the same side really, but he liked it when one of the newbies fucked up.
“Thanks for that,” Caroline mumbled under her breath, Donald was a lecherous old bastard; he’d been in the Tory party for years. Caroline was pleased she hadn’t worked with him when molestation was seen as part of the job.
“So any suggestions?” she said.
“Photoshop it.”
“Photoshop what?”
“God do I have to do everything myself “ Donald muttered, “what’s it for?”
“The website,” Caroline said wishing she hadn’t got the Sunday shift.
“Leave it with me,” Donald said. He sighed but deep down he was smiling to himself’ he’d solve the problem, he’d get the plaudits. That’s how he stayed ahead of the game.

“Who the fuck is responsible for this?” Eric, the assistant to the chief spin-doctor, roared at his startled colleagues, not ready for a volcanic eruption on a Monday morning.
They looked up on mass to see him holding his iPad up. The PM looked handsome, but there was something wrong with the photo.
“Since when did we employ 5 year-olds?” Eric roared. “Caroline, is this your doing?”
Caroline looked at the image and smiled, “um no Eric, Donald did that,” she said.
“Where the hell is he?” Donald’s desk was strangely empty.
“Caroline, take this down before anyone gets wind of it.”
“Too late boss,” Pete said, “look.” Pete had done a twitter search for the PM, tweet after tweet were of the PM with a cartoon poppy photoshopped somewhere close to his lapel.
“They are having a field day already,” Pete said. 
“Caroline remove the picture, Pete put out an apology and Donald,” Donald had just come into the room, “You’re fired.”

Don't believe this could be true? This was the Official Twitter picture of Cameron yesterday. 


  1. label or lapel?

    1. I bloody edited that and it somehow autocorrected back.

    2. get yourself an assistant:-)