Friday 30 September 2016

Poetry Friday 13

For audio click here

I was in Cardiff Bay on Monday and they were dismantling the Ferris Wheel that had been there over the summer. I wrote a poem.

The Naked Ferris Wheel
Stripped bare of gondolas
and lights.
Still standing proud
despite the wanton destruction.
Exposed
to the elements.
Fragile,
towering,
tottering in
the wind.
Soon to be no more,
but making one
last stand. 

This next poem has borrow a line from an old short story, but I don't know which one.

Haunting songs 
Haunting songs. 
Haunting voices
choirs sing, 
the words tingle 
the skin. 
Ring out the old 
bring in the new, 
the words tingle 
the skin.

Two silly, non-poems to finish.

Coffee snob
If anyone tells you
They can taste the difference
Between a latte, a flat white and a
Cappuccino,
they’re lying.


The following announcement may save your life.
In emergency
pull the handle
and push the door.
Oh by the way,

you’ll still die.

Check out my new project, Topical Poems, find it here.
And why not invest in me. Buy my books :-) Details here 

Please if you enjoy these stories share them with friends, family, book agents, etc.. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram :-) Thank you. 

For previous poetry Fridays click here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here  and here

Thursday 29 September 2016

Yellow Pages

For audio click here 
Be warned there is discussion of a sexual nature in this story.
“You're cursed mate,” Jimbo said.
“Don't be daft,” I replied. 
“Seriously, man, that Linda was a witch, she's cursed you.”
“Why on earth would she have cursed me?” I said, “that's nonsense.” I took a mouthful of beer and thought about what Jim had said. Although I didn't want to believe it, I had begun to think a similar thing myself. 
“What did she say when you left her?” Jim flicked ash somewhere near the ashtray.
“She said I'd regret it”
“She said you'd regret it. See she cursed you.” He sat back, his expression said QED. 
“That's not a curse, that's just a silly way of trying to get me to reconsider.” 
“She's a witch I tell you, she's got a black cat hasn't she?” 
“Mate, lots of women own black cats it, don't make them witches.”  I lit a new ciggie. 
“Did you ever hear her mumbling in Latin? Maybe stirring a big old cauldron? Polishing her broom stick?” 
“Jimbo, leave it!”
“Nine months without sex, that's not right.” Jimbo was like a cat with a mouse. “And let’s face it, you’ve hardly had a sniff.”
“That's a bit harsh. There was Laura.” 
“Yeah, and what happened to her?”
He was right, we were just getting down and dirty and she came out in a rash, like she was allergic to me. Same happened when we tried again a few days later. In the end, she dumped me, said her skin couldn't cope. 
“What about Hanka?” I said
“Yes, and you faffed around for ages and then when got her back to your place, her ex phoned, she went running.” Jim seemed to find this funny.
“Okay true, so I've had some back luck, but it's not a curse.”
“Then there was Lucy what happened to her again?” 
“I couldn't get it up.”
“What was that?” 
“Fuck off Jim, I was drunk.” 
“And, and, and, and, and,” Jim had obviously just remembered something.  “you even broke your right hand just after you walked out on Linda, so you couldn't even sex yourself. Now if that isn't a curse.” 
“I've got two hands.” I said, “I'm not cursed okay. But just in case I was, how would I lift it?”
“I guess you'd need to go back to Linda. Or maybe get a shaman in to do their magic. Cast a new spell over your private parts.” 
“Well, I'm not going back to Linda, know any shamen?” 

“Not off the top of my head, try the yellow pages.” Jimbo got up to get us a fresh beer, leaving me wondering how to lift this spell.

Check out my new project, Topical Poems, find it here.
And why not invest in me. Buy my books :-) Details here 

Please if you enjoy these stories share them with friends, family, book agents, etc.. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram :-) Thank you. 

Wednesday 28 September 2016

The Ferris Wheel

For audio click here
Mark took his place in the line. There were five people in front of him. Somehow hed expected it to be busier than this. You hear all these scare stories about the crowds and the queues and people dying to get in. But there wasnt the reported pandemonium or panic. Everything was really quite calm. But Mark was glad there were five people ahead of him. It gave him time to rehearse his story; have what he was going to say down pat.
He wouldn
t mention the Ferris Wheel. Hed call it a fairground ride. That would bring a Roller Coaster or Pirate Ship to mind, something scary and dangerous, not the tame old Ferris Wheel.
He shuffled forward looking around seeing if there was anyone he knew. There must be someone he knew somewhere, they cant all have gone to the other place. Each person was processed in a matter of minutes, so it wasnt long before he stepped forwards and St Peter looked him square in the eyes.
Name?
Mark Lewis.
For data protection reasons I need to ask you your date of birth.
14/10/1968
Ah a libra. St Peter looked down at his pad. Cause of death?
Cardiac arrest. Mark looked at St P Was he suppressing a smile?
Place of death?
He was, the bastard was trying not to laugh.
Its not funny you know. Mark said crossing his arms.
Sorry! St Peter wiped his face. Place of death?
On a fairground ride.
Prfffff
Sorry?
Oh sorry something in my throat. St Peter pretended to cough. He wiped away a tear. His face was the colour Marks had been back down on earth.
Exact nature of the ride.
Why does it matter?
Mark could see St P was enjoying this. Surely this wasnt angelic behaviour.
I need to make sure our records are up to date. Oh and do remember, lying is not allowed up here.
Furis weel Mark said.
Speak up man. St Peter said, his voice squeaking.
A bloody Ferris Wheel okay. I had a bloody Cardiac Arrest on a Ferris Wheel.
Suddenly there were angels everywhere and deafening laughter. Sides were splitting and floors were being rolled on.
Mark shook his head and turned his back.

I think Ill go to the other place, he said, and got back in the lift.

Check out my new project, Topical Poems, find it here.
And why not invest in me. Buy my books :-) Details here 

Please if you enjoy these stories share them with friends, family, book agents, etc.. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram :-) Thank you.