Blue Monday - A Steve Rant

Johnny could tell by the way Steve let his phone slip onto the table that something had irked him and a rant was on its way. Johnny put the beers on the table and sat down wondering what had managed to wind Steve up while Johnny had been at the bar. Steve looked at Johnny like a baby might look at its mum when it’s thinking of soiling a newly administered nappy. Johnny braced himself for the full force of Steve ire.

‘Blue fucking Monday!’ Steve said. ‘My Facebook feed is full of meme’s about Blue Monday.’

‘What the New Order song?’ Johnny asked.

‘I wish it was mate, I wish it was.’ Steve said. ‘No apparently today is Blue Monday, the most depressing day of the year.’

‘Ah I thought I was feeling a bit off today.’ Johnny said while Steve took a mouthful of beer.  

‘No you didn’t,’ said Steve, dismissing his mate scornfully and taking another mouthful. ‘It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. If I tell you it’s a depressing day, you feel depressed, but had I not told you, you wouldn’t have even thought about it. You’re no more off today than you were yesterday. Every day has its ups and downs, but if you are told it is blue Monday, then you’ll accentuate the negatives, so it will become blue fucking Monday.’

Johnny nodded, his mate had a point.

‘It’s bullshit,’ Steve continued ‘probably some marketing scam, to get us to book holidays or something.’ Steve took a mouthful of ale. ‘There’s no scientific evidence or anything like that but that doesn’t stop 1 million people going on and on about it on Facebook, or the BBC going on and on about it on their news channels. And people believe it, no questions asked. You say a lie often enough and it becomes a truth even if it’s clearly not true.’

Both Steve and Johnny took a mouthful of beer with quizzical looks on their faces trying to work out if what Steve had just said made sense. They decided it did.

‘Well if it is on the BBC, it must be true,’ said Johnny.

‘Exactly’ said Steve ‘you think they would have a greater responsibility really not to peddle this bullshit.’ Steve looked at his pint amazed that it was already almost empty.

‘Christ where did that go?’ he said.

Johnny shrugged ‘Dunno’ he said, ‘but it will be Blue Monday for me if you don’t get them in,’ Steve did as he was told and headed to the bar with the empty glasses.

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