The Devil Inside

It might be a good idea to have a copy of this open when reading this story :-) 

The bar was bright and impersonal, the train was late , the beer tasted like old washing up liquid and his feet ached but despite all this there was a small smile on Ian's lips. How many hours had he spent in bars near train stations waiting for trains or whiling away the delays? Not exactly the wild life.  But for once he didn't mind. In this drab, dreary commuter bar they were playing Kick by INXS - the whole album. It must have been 20 years since Ian had heard the album in its entirety, but he could still sing along with every song, hit every note, remember every word. He wondered whether he'd spent more time lip syncing in front of a mirror to this classic LP or sitting in train station bars. He'd like to think it was the former but it was more than likely the latter. Never mind right now Ian wasn't in a smelly bar in Reading, he was in a dimly lit room in 1988, ‘Kick’ on the cassette player, her parents in the pub and both of them ready for a new sensation. He'd been with Claire for 3 months and tonight was the night, there had been tiny daggers of passion growing between them in the last few weeks and Ian knew full well that the devil inside could not be kept inside much longer. 

Ian was 16, it was time, it had been time for a while but he wanted it to be special. Not just anyone but someone special and Claire was the loved one. 

Hutchence sang ‘I need you tonight’ and Ian knew exactly how he felt.  Ian could tell he wouldn't have to mediate, Claire felt the same way. 

At the time he'd honestly felt that they'd be together for ever, that they'd never tear us apart and to this day it mystified him as to why they'd ever split up.

As he lay there after the event he wanted to be calling all nations to tell the news of his love for her. 'Throw your guns in the sky and rejoice in love,' he wanted to yell out. How could people fight when something so special was had just happened? Arcade Fire replaced INXS on the stereo and Ian looked at his watch, his train was due, time to get back to the real world, back to the present and stop wallowing in the past. 

and now click on this link and wallow in your own past for a little while :-)

If you enjoyed that why not buy my new novel

Maggie’s Milkman? It is now available on Kindle search Milkman Gareth Davies


and on other ebook readers at - 

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/412845

Enjoy


By the way see my interview about the book here

The Fallen Idol

It had been a long journey and with the time difference too it was all a bit much for Daniel. As he lay in this alien bed looking at the unfamiliar shadows on the walls, he couldn’t help thinking that he’d made a costly mistake. Peter was nothing like he’d imagined, nothing like his letters or the Facebook status updates. He certainly wasn't the perfect cousin Daniel had expected him to be.

Daniel’s Auntie Jana had left the Czech Republic in 1968, she’d been allowed to visit the UK on honeymoon during the Prague Spring and decided to head to USA when the tanks rolled in, rather than head back to Prague. So Peter and Daniel were cousins who’d never met; the same age, the same blood but different continents and for the first 19 years of their lives vastly different political systems.

But they’d been pen pals, email pals, Facebook friends and when Peter invited Daniel to his daughter’s wedding Daniel jumped at the chance to travel to the US and finally meet his cousin.

Before 1989 Peter’s letters had been the highlight of Daniel’s life. They lit up the dreary existence and brought with them dreams of freedom and another world that Daniel couldn’t quite believe existed.  Peter’s letters were stuff of legends in school too, everyone wanting to know what was happening in the land of the 'Killers from Wall Street'. Having an American cousin meant Daniel was cool by association.

So Daniel had always idolised Peter but now the dreams were shattered. Peter had patronised the hell out of his ‘little communist cousins’ as he insisted on calling them. Daniel had tried to explain that he wasn’t and never had been a communist.  He reminded Peter that the Velvet Revolution was 24 years ago and even before that because of Auntie Jana’s disappearance, the family were the enemy of the state but that didn’t stop Peter from name calling. Peter also kept saying Czechoslovakia, Dan didn’t mind that greatly, what's in a name? But he did think his cousin might have a slightly better understanding of his own heritage. But the thing that had really riled Daniel was Peter’s attitude to Dan’s wife, Eva. He was crass and lewd. His suggestive comments were not so much flirting as molesting with words. He seemed to think because he was a big shot American he could lust over her. He kept talking about the wedding party and how he hoped Eva would dance with him, his words were  heavy with innuendo, not so much double entendre as single in your face entendre. It made Daniel’s skin crawl. 

Two weeks, two weeks until their return flight, two weeks under this roof with this nasty little man. Maybe first impressions were misleading; maybe Peter was just nervous and over compensating. What did they say about not judging a book by the cover? Daniel had to give him a second chance but it was not going to be easy. Eva stirred next to him, she moved in closer to her husband and, as if reading his mind, she mumbled in her sleepy state, ‘if that grubby little man thinks I’m dancing with him on Saturday he’s got another thing coming, the only person I’m dancing with is you.’ 

Little boy lost

Pete, Bet and I made our way quietly to the underground station. It was early, we'd be early;
but  despite their protestations I didn't want to be late so we'd given ourselves far too much time. I should have gone alone really, having my best friend and girlfriend along for the ride made for a far too long goodbye. I was nervous and edgy while they were sad and hungover. None of us sure we could live without each other, none of us sure we'd ever see each other again. It all made for a recipe of awkward silences and brave faces. I wonder how many times I checked my passport and ticket, on the way, 15, 20, maybe even more and despite knowing full well that I was early I checked my watch even more often. Hell, I wanted the tube ride to last for ever while at the same time wished we had already reached our destination. 

Airports were so alien back then, the departure hall stretched out before us like a great desert before three intrepid explorers, but only one of us was going on an adventure.
Check-in done, customary airport beer drunk, it was time to say goodbye. Peter gave me a bear hug, then held my jacket as Bet and I shared a shy, awkward cuddle, and that was that, I was away, one last look back as I passed through passport control. Off they went, the odd couple, the best friend and the girlfriend nothing in common but nicotine and me. Years later I discovered they got stupidly drunk together that night, but the discovery I made immediately was that Pete had wrapped my jacket around a pack of 12 condoms. When I say I discovered, it was not strictly true. It was the security guy who discovered it as he put my coat in the tray for the x-ray machine, ‘thinking you'll get lucky’ he said with a wink. ‘Well I am going for a year.’ I replied with a smile. Simpler times, more innocent.

The flight was a case of doomsday scenario, what if it crashes? What if they don’t let me in? What if my bag's not there? What if there's no one there to meet me? Of course we didn't crash, they did let me in, my bag did arrive and amongst the foregin words and mean looking security personnel, Jim’s smiling face was waiting for me. 

 I guess Jim and his wife took pity on me; I am sure other teachers didn't get offered to be taken for pizza, but I guess they saw the fear in my eyes. I almost bit their hand off, so we dumped my stuff in my new flat and walked down to Pizza West for non-traditional Czech food and my first Czech beer. I could feel myself relaxing as we ate, coming to terms with my new surroundings.

Walking home I suddenly felt full of courage, this was the new me, I was going to be brave and try things.  I walked passed the pub at the bottom of my building and decided to go in for a pint. It was bright, and yellow and smoky, somehow not like British pubs, lit like a sitting room instead of a bar.
‘Jedno pivo’ I said with phrase book enthusiasm, and then ‘dobry den’ as the beer arrived. It was only later I discovered I was saying good morning instead of thank you.
Soon I was surrounded, the youths had lost interest in their game of pool and were swarming around this exotic being in their pub. Their English was poor but friendly, their Czech was warm and welcoming and the red head seemed to be reserving her smiles just for me. I drank more than I should have and even bought a round of Slivovice, before getting up to go. As I left, the pretty girl with the red hair came up to me and said, ‘welcome to Prague’ in heavily accented English and planted the tenderest kiss on my cheek. I climbed the stairs to my new apartment with a smile on my face and a spring in my step, but as soon as I shut my new front door tiredness hit me. I slumped down on my inviting bed and almost broke my back, what had looked like a soft, comforting cloud was actually a hard piece of concrete. I started laughing, I laughed and laughed, the stress of the day flooding out of me. This morning seemed so far away both in time and distance but also in attitude; I wasn't going to be sad, this was a new beginning a new start and hey it wasn't going to be foreever. I think I could like it here, I thought to myself, I might stay a year or two.

Steve Rants - It's not free.

‘Jesus, what’s the matter with you, you look like you’ve just found your girlfriend in bed with…’ Johnny thought for a minute, ‘well me.’

Steve was on his way back from the bar carrying two beers and with a look on his face that would frighten the Taliban into submission.

‘S’her behind the bar, the bloody cheek.’

‘What did you say?’ Johnny knew full well that if there had been a contretemps then Steve would more than likely have been the antagonist despite his attempts to blame the barmaid.

‘Nothing, all I did was ask why there was no Wi-Fi this evening.’

‘And’

‘Well she started going on about first world problems. I live in the first fucking world, what problems does she want me to have? Then she says it’s free and that we should be grateful it’s there at all. Free my arse, who does she think she's kidding, it might say it’s free but that doesn’t mean it is does it?’

Johnny shrugged, knowing the question was rhetorical.

‘Free, ha! Yes I can just imagine the owners of this place discussing how they can give something back to their customers, reward them for their loyalty, give them a bonus. Bollocks, they put the prices up when they put Wi-Fi in here, so we might not be paying for it directly but we’re still paying for it. And even if they hadn’t, they wouldn’t be giving it away out of a sense of altruism, oh no, it’s in their own interests, free Wi-Fi means more people. If the internet in here was really free I could come in here and use it without buying a drink. Somehow I can’t see them standing for that, can you?’

Johnny was about to reply but Steve gave him no chance.

‘It’s like those bloody budget hotels, have you see the ads, ‘now with free breakfast.’ Steve did his best voice over impression. ‘It wasn’t that long ago that breakfast was included, the bastards took it away just so they can offer something as a perk that should be standard. If I’m paying 80 euro for a room with a view of a car park, don’t try to kid me the breakfast is free! I bloody paid for it when I paid for the room.’

Again Johnny was cut off before he could reply.

‘The problem is people fall for it; they believe the hype.’

‘Well maybe it’s just nice to think you are getting something for nothing sometimes. Even if deep down you know you’re not.’Johnny finally got his word in edgeways.

Steve took a sip of his pint and thought about Johnny’s words of wisdom for a second. Johnny thought for a moment he’d left his friend speechless. No, that would never happen but Johnny was shocked to find that Steve agreed with him.

‘Ok, I take your point but that doesn’t mean I should listen to corporate crap about it being free so I should be grateful, cos that is bullshit, oh and by the way it should be Free Wi-Fi zone not Wi-Fi free zone on the signs.’

Johnny smiled, shook his head and signalled that he needed the toilet hoping a comfort break would lead to a change of subject. It did.