Monday, 16 October 2017

Rhodes Review - All Inclusivity 1

The problem with all-inclusive holidays is how quickly you get institutionalised. You become wedded to the hotel, reliant on it for your every need. Right from the very first morning I found myself hurrying around my sightseeing tour just to be certain I got back to the hotel in time for lunch. Then, I didn’t want to go too far in the afternoon because dinner was at seven pm sharp and woe betide you if you miss it. In the evenings, I would go out for a walk but I had to be back to make sure I took full advantage of the all-inclusive booze, which was over by eleven. By the fourth day, I had made up my mind to skip the hotel dinner and go out for food. Normally a simple task for a seasoned traveller like me but I had the chills, the shakes, could I survive out there on my own? I am glad I went through with it. Oh the freedom, I felt like dancing naked in the streets. But on my return to the hotel, the Maitre D’ from the restaurant was waiting for me on the steps. 
    “We missed you at dinner,” he snarled. 
    “I’m sorry,” I shook. 
    “Is this all the thanks we get,” he said. “Look at you, staying out till all hours. We slaved over a hot stove for you and you don’t even come home, not even a telephone call. We were worried sick. Go straight to your room.”
    “Yes, it won’t happen again,” I said. But I already knew I was lying. Once I tasted freedom, I wanted more.
    The next night I climbed out of my window, shimmied down the drain pipe and was out into the wild Rhodes roads, running from the sheer exhilaration of it all. I’d escaped their clutches. I was free. Lamb chops had never tasted so good. But on getting back to the hotel it was not only the Maître D’ who met me. Two of his waiting friends were also, um waiting. I’d been caught red-handed and was to be punished for my sins. Grounded for the last day of my holiday. No more day release. 
    But the freedom had been captivating. I was addicted to the thrill of being on the outside. The pool bar, the pool, and the main bar were no longer exciting. I needed the wind in my hair. There was no way they were going to clip this bird’s wings. So, I dug, I dug all day, I worked through the tiredness and the pain. I took walks around the pool allowing the earth to fall from my trouser leg. I worked hour after hour until my tunnel could take me to the kebab place that I’d been eyeing up for the last three days. The taste of the gyros made the blisters worthwhile

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