Least of my Worries

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The fact that the stool creaked alarmingly every time I moved was the least of my worries. The fact I had a used pair of pants shoved in my mouth would on any other day be up there with the most of my worries, but today it somehow was just a tad unedifying. The fact that my face stung where the sweat was seeping into the cut that Billy had carved into my face with a sharp knife, was painful but not overly upsetting. The fact the ropes that Billy had used to lash me to this stool were cutting into my wrist and ankles was discomforting but that too was not at the top of my list of worries. No what was top of the hit parade, the new number one, the thing caused the most perturbation was the fact that the look in Billy’s eyes had just got a tad crazier and the bullet fired from Billy’s gun had whistled so close to my head that I had heard the whizz as it fizzed by my ear. Whereas before I could believe I could get out of this, now I was sure I was going to die. Billy laughed seemingly amused by the look of sheer terror on my face. It was no accident that the bullet had missed; Billy’s aim had been true. Where on earth had the gun come from, I knew Billy had done national service so I wasn’t surprised by the expertise, but I was surprised by the weapon, I had no inkling Billy owned a gun.

‘And explain this one,’ Billy said, an image appeared on the screen in front of me. I winced. It showed me draped all over a young lady, the same young lady I’d been draped all over in the previous 58 shots I’d been asked to explain. I’d have had difficulty explaining them without the pants in my mouth but with a blocked orifice, explanation was impossible.

‘Or this one,’ Billy’s voice was close to cracking. Another image appeared, same old me, same young woman, different situation. To be honest I think Billy’s questions were rhetorical; I don’t think there needed much explanation.

‘Well I wonder how I came here to night, got the feeling that something ain’t right.’ Billy started singing. On my god she’d gone all reservoir dogs on me. I should have been scared but my first thought was, she’s got the words wrong.

‘It’s I don’t know why I came here tonight,’ I tried to say through the material but it was no use.

Billy had put the gun back in her waistband and was playing with her knife again.

‘Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right.’ I knew what came next. But again Billy aimed to miss, the knife whistled past my ear, I flinched, anticipating pain and Billy roared with laughter like only Billy can.

‘And explain this,’ she said. The picture on the screen was of Danny Glover and Mel Gibson, sitting on the floor with their backs to a brown car.

‘What the fuck?’ I said through the gag. Billy laughed, enjoying my confusion.   Why on earth had she put that pic from Lethal Weapon in there?

‘Confused?’ She whispered in my ear. She was behind me, I could smell garlic on her breath and the smell of her shampoo, it was the same as Tina’s; if that was to be my last breath it would be a nice way to go.

Billy came round in front of me again, she smiled.

‘I trusted you,’ she said. ‘And what did I get in return?’ I looked her straight in the eye, I had nothing to be ashamed of. She held the gun up.

‘Goodbye Lucy.’ she said.