Danny watched the hipster geezer sipping his coffee and knew
he had himself a new victim. On the table in front of the geezer was a Macbook,
an iPad and an iPhone and his expensive headphones were attached to a hidden
fourth device. If this was what this dude carried around with him, then his
home must be an Aladdin’s cave. Danny
waited. He was good at waiting. He wasn’t a cat burglar for nothing; he knew
when to stalk and when to strike. When the geezer had finished his coffee, Danny
followed him home; he made a mental note of the address and headed down the
bookies.
The following morning Danny watched hipster skip down the
path and then he slipped into the open bathroom window. Danny prided himself on
being light-footed and light-fingered. He could slip through the narrowest of
windows, tiptoe around a flat and slink out without waking the lightest of
sleepers. But he didn’t have to worry about sleepers at the moment; the flat
was empty - completely empty. Danny looked around in despair. The bloody idiot
carried all his worldly goods around with him like some sort of hipster
snail. There wasn’t even an old iPod to snaffle. No bother, Danny would
come back later.
Danny looked at his watch, 12.07, the lights had been off
for 23 minutes. He usually gave it 30 minutes from lights out to break in. The
bathroom window that he’d contorted through earlier in the day was still open.
He was all set to go.
Then the bedroom lit up, a small light, the light of an
iPhone. The dumb hipster was still awake, probably seeing if someone had relied
to his witty meme on Facebook. The light dimmed, Danny checked the time. He’d
need to give it at least another 20 minutes now. Danny was cold and wanted to
get this over with. The longer he hung around the more chance he had of being
noticed.
19 minutes passed. Danny went on tiptoe. He was ready, but
then the bedroom window lit up, followed swiftly by the bathroom light, which
then switched off followed by the bedroom one.
Just 15 minutes later the iPhone light came on again. The coffee-drinking
prick was obviously buzzing on caffeine and had a bladder the size of a pea. Was
this what it was like being a parent waiting for their kids to sleep on
Christmas Eve? Danny decided to cut his losses and leave. He’d burgled houses
with dogs, crept around babies, avoided sleepwalkers but tonight he’d been
defeated by insomnia.
' He wasn’t a cat burglar for nothing; he knew when to stalk and when to strike. ..
ReplyDeleteThe bloody idiot carried all his worldly goods around with him like some sort of hipster snail. ...
The bloody idiot carried all his worldly goods around with him like some sort of hipster snail. ..
The bloody idiot carried all his worldly goods around with him like some sort of hipster snail. '