Friday, 18 December 2015

Robin Hood

A small red warning for this one.
For audio click here
It wasn't much of a hotel room to be honest. It was warm and clean and the bathroom was en suite, but there were no mod cons, no extras, not even a television to drown out the noise. 
Robin thought it was someone cleaning their teeth at first, a steady swoosh whoosh sound, but then the creaking of the bed and the heavy moaning suggested it might have been oral, but it wasn't particularly hygienic. The squeaks got faster, the squeals louder and the pants heavier. Robin thought about banging on the wall, to tell them to keep the noise down, but it wasn't necessary. Just a few minutes after it had started it was over. One loud male groan signalled that there had only been one winner. 
As Robin lay there in the darkness enjoying the sound of silence he had an idea. The sound of other people's lovemaking had made him horny; he had the evidence in his hands to prove it. He decided to do something about it. He got up and put on a t-shirt, and went and knocked on the door of his neighbour’s room. 
A podgy man with a red face and bloodshot eyes opened the door dressed in just his boxer shorts, Robin could see he wouldn’t be racing again tonight.
“What do you want?” The man said. Robin began to wonder if this had been a good idea. 
“Please excuse me,” Robin said, “I couldn't help but overhearing your, um, lovemaking, and well, um,  I think you might have left your lady friend a little, um, well underwhelmed,” he said. 
"It's none of your business, mate," old podgy said.
"Well for 4 minutes you were making it the whole hotel's business," Robin was pushing his luck. 
"Not my fault the walls are paper thin," Podgy’s was getting redder by the minute, he clenched his fists.
"Anyway,” Robin wasn’t going to be put off. “I was just wondering if she might like me to, um, well, you know, finish her off."
"Fuck off," the man raised his fist above his head. It was time for Robin to make a sharp exit. 
"Well actually darling," a pretty voice drifted from inside the room, "as he's offering and he's here, maybe we could give it a try."


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