The Missing Notebook

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“Where the fucking hell is it?” Big Chris swept a pile of books off the table and watched them scatter over the floor. “It must be here somewhere.” There was another clatter of books. “I left it right here. A blue notepad, loads of papers inside.” Chris banged his fist on the desk where the pad once was. “Come on, who’s got it?” He looked around at the other teachers who avoided eye-contact with their angry colleague.

“Are you sure you left it there?” Emma asked.

“Of course I’m sure. I left it here before my lesson. It’s got all my notes in it.”

“Well it’s not there now?” Keith said.

“I know it’s not there now, that’s why I am looking for it.” Chris bellowed.

“You couldn’t have left it at home, could you?” Emma said.

“Do I look stupid,” Chris said. “Oh god things don’t just disappear.” Chris’s face was like a cricket ball; his bald head getting redder by the second. “Joke’s over guys.” Chris put his arms out wide. “Joke’s fucking over, not fucking funny, not fucking laughing. Where is it?” No one spoke. “I’m gonna count to three and then…” He strutted around the room. “1…2…”

“Hey calm down big guy,” Bryn looked up from his register. Chris took a step towards him. “No one’s taken your sodding notepad okay?”

“How the hell would you know?” Big Chris glared at Bryn.

“Because who would want it?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Chris towered over Bryn, puffing out his chest.

“Pipe down big guy,” Bryn said. He stared at the man above him.
“I’ll decide when I pipe down,” Chris said, but he backed away from Bryn realising that the look hadn’t killed, but it was certainly a death threat.

“Look if it turns up let me know.” Chris slammed the staffroom door as he left.

“Fucking bastards, miserable bastards. Not funny, not bloody funny,” Chris mumbled to himself all the way home. He was sick and tired of his colleagues and their stupid practical jokes. He knew the file would be on the table tomorrow and one of those twats would have a gormless grin on his or her face. He turned the key in the lock. He couldn’t wait to get the kettle on, strip down to his boxers shorts and watch Pointless.

He didn’t see it at first, it was only when the first contestants had been knocked out of the quiz show that his eyes caught sight of the blue notepad. As soon as he saw it, he had a flash back to the morning; He remembered putting it there while he went to the toilet. He’d meant to pick it up on the way out, but now he remembered forgetting it.

Shit, what was he going to say in work tomorrow?

“Morning Chris,” Emma said. She was always bright and breezy in the mornings. “Any luck with the file.”  

“Completely disappeared,” Chris said. “It’s a downright mystery.”