Tuesday, 13 September 2016

Julio is Innocent - A Steve Rant

For audio click here 

“You know that song,” Steve said, apropos of nothing  Me and Julio down by the schoolyard.”(see end of story for video) 
Johnny nodded, wondering where the hell this was going.
“I’ve spent years wondering what the big crime was, wondering what me and Julio were doing down by the schoolyard. What was so bad it made Mama Pajama roll out of bed and run to the police station and then spit on the ground every time his name gets mentioned."
“I always assumed it was some kind of sexual act,” Johnny said. “That or drugs.”
“Yeah me too,” Steve agreed, “I mean it was bad enough to get put in the house of detention and get on the cover of Newsweek, but then again not that bad because if it were murder then a radical priest would have no way of helping. But you know what? I think we’ve got it all wrong and I think I’ve solved it.”
“Really?” Johnny didn’t look convinced.  
“I was listening to it the other day and after all these years I've decided Julio is innocent.”
“What are you on about?”
“Well, there have always been mysteries; why was it only Paul Simon who was put in prison and not Paul and Julio? Why was it only him that was on his way? How did Mama Pajama see all of whatever it was from her bed?  None of it makes sense. But look at the lyrics closely.” Steve turned his phone around so Johnny could see it. Johnny read the lyrics then looked at Steve.
“Yeah, what? I don’t get it.”
“Look at the line – Goodbye Rosie, Queen of Corona, see you, me and Julio down by the schoolyard.”
“Yeah and?” Johnny put the phone down. 
“Well, he’s saying that him, Rosie and Julio will meet down by the schoolyard. He’s suggesting they meet to say goodbye; because he’s leaving town. Julio wasn’t involved in the crime, just in the act of saying goodbye. I’ll see you me and Julio down by the schoolyard.”
“Hmm, you might have a point,” Johnny said.
Steve sat back looking pleased with himself.
“But, “Johnny said, “you still haven't solved the mystery, have you? Okay, Julio is innocent, but what was the crime the Paul committed?”
“Hmmm, you’re right, I don’t have an answer.” Steve said. “But one mystery I do know the answer to.”
“What's that?”

“Where my next pint is coming from, it’s your round.”  Steve waggled his empty glass in front of Johnny's nose.

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