Tuesday, 20 December 2016

Christmas Cookies

For audio click here 

Sally-Anne looked up from her book.
“Rob?” she asked. It was always Rob.
“He’s a fucking idiot,” I confirmed. “Why can’t he ever answer a whole email?”
“Can’t you email him back?” Sally-Anne asked.
“It’s too late, he’s off now until the third of January. He knew I needed the figures for the Anderson account.” I slammed the top of my computer down and stomped into the kitchen, a cup of tea wouldn’t solve the problem, but it would help. I felt Sally-Anne’s arms wrap around me and her breath on my neck.
“Forget about it lovely,” she said. “Don’t let that idiot piss you off.”
“It’s just, you know what he’s like. He’s all butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth and everyone falls for it. How come I’m the only one who sees through him.”
“I do too,” Sally-Anne said. She reached out and took one of the Christmas cookies I’d made and popped it into her mouth.
“Fluergh, urgh, fuck.” She spat the crumbs on the counter.
“They’re not that bad,” I said.
“They’re not that good either,” Sally-Anne ran a glass of water and washed her mouth out.
She was right, they were tasteless and shapeless and were so dry they’d take a week’s worth of saliva to chew one bite.
“Who else did you give these too?”
“Laura, Corina, Keith, Nikki and of course Rob.”
Sally-Anne shook her head. “Are you trying to poison all your colleagues?”
“No, only my favourite one.” I grabbed her and gave her a kiss and was just unclasping her bra when her mobile rang.
“Ignore it,” I said through the kisses, but she broke off our embrace and took the call.
“Mr. Henderson, how are you?”
I went around behind her and nuzzled her neck.”
“Yes, I see.”
She stepped away from me.
“When did this happen?”
I could tell from the tone in her voice something was amiss.
“Okay, well thanks for letting me know. Yes, I’ll see you on Monday.”
She killed the call and put the phone on the counter. Then, she turned to look at me.
“It’s Rob,” she said. “He’s dead.”
“Fuck!” I didn’t like the man much, but I didn’t wish him dead.

“Apparently,” she said, “he choked on a cookie.”

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