Wednesday, 7 December 2016

The Condom

For audio click here 
Stephen Tintin Duffy on the radio, 
Not a care in the world, 
School was out for summer. 
And I’d got my hands on a condom. 
Jackie Llewellyn, the love of my life, had promised me that if I could get the protection she’d open those mighty fine legs for me. Well, I had the rubber and now we were going to go over the island after dark, find a nice little spot up on Friars’ Point and this fifteen-year-old boy was going to become a man. 
I just had one minor problem. I had no idea how to use a johnny, not a clue. Davey had got it for me, stolen it from his brother's bedroom, but he didn't have a clue how to use it either and it didn’t come with an instruction manual. 
“What's that?” I said when he gave it to me? 
“It's the dunky you asked for.”
“Yeah, I know, I was only joking.”  But I wasn't, I was kinda surprised by the little square foil thing. I don't know what I'd been expecting but it wasn’t that.
“You owe me three fags,” he said 
I handed over the smokes I’d stolen from my sister’s bag and then looked  at the product from the London Rubber Company. I’d asked him for two so I could try one on for size. But he’d only managed to steal the one, so there was going to be no dress rehearsal. 
Christ, I wished there was some kind of machine that you could type a question and it gave you an answer. Ha, that would never happen. 
“Kiss me with your mouth, your love is better than wine, but wine is all I have, will your love ever be mine?” I sang as I walked to Jackie’s house 
I knocked the door. I was nervous. I hadn’t told her about the condom. I thought I’d surprise her. 
Her mum answered. 
“Hi Mrs. Llewellyn,” I said, blushing profusely. Did she know I had a prophylactic with her daughter's name on it in the top pocket of my jean jacket? 
“Hi Danny, Jackie’ll be here now in a minute, Wanna come in?”
“I’ll wait here,” I said. 
Jackie looked lush. 
We walked hand in hand over the Island and then mooched around the fair and the arcades, getting chased away from Caesar’s Palace for rocking the penny fountain. Then, as the twilight became dark we climbed up on Friars Point and found a spot, our spot. The grass was damp, but we didn't mind, our lips were locked together, my hands fumbling with the clasps of her bra. 
“Look,” I said and showed her my treasure. 
“Danny, we can't. Not tonight. It's you know, um my time.” 
“Time? I said, looking at my watch, and then the penny dropped. 
So I put the party hat back in my pocket and tried to hide my disappointment while my frustration was visible for all to see.
Later I walked her home, and as I did I realised it had been the best day of my life. I loved Jackie Llewellyn, but this boy wasn’t quite ready to become a man. 

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