Sometimes I like to see conspiracies where none exist. Here’s an imagined reality.
Have you ever wondered why there are so many
stories in the news about mistranslations in public places? Do you really think
that sign makers are so careless with their work? Or maybe they are done on purpose.
Let me introduce myself. I’m the person that companies turn to when they want to get some free publicity for themselves. I can guarantee the locals news and if we are lucky we can make it to the national newspapers and in a perfect world the BBC website. And you know it really is quite simple. All you need to do is create a ‘hilarious’ accident that is designed to create both outrage and amusement in equal measure. Then somebody brings this mishap to the attention of the press, your company makes an apology and there you are, splashed all over the local news.
Take my latest campaign for an example- a supermarket wanted it to be known that they have new cashpoint machines at their express stores in West Wales. Now this kind of thing is useful for people to know about and brings custom to the shops but it isn’t a big enough thing to pay for a traditional advertising campaign. So that is where I come in.
Let me introduce myself. I’m the person that companies turn to when they want to get some free publicity for themselves. I can guarantee the locals news and if we are lucky we can make it to the national newspapers and in a perfect world the BBC website. And you know it really is quite simple. All you need to do is create a ‘hilarious’ accident that is designed to create both outrage and amusement in equal measure. Then somebody brings this mishap to the attention of the press, your company makes an apology and there you are, splashed all over the local news.
Take my latest campaign for an example- a supermarket wanted it to be known that they have new cashpoint machines at their express stores in West Wales. Now this kind of thing is useful for people to know about and brings custom to the shops but it isn’t a big enough thing to pay for a traditional advertising campaign. So that is where I come in.
Every sign in Wales needs to be displayed in English and in Welsh
which plays right into my hands. All we
had to do was to make a little ‘mistake’ with the translation.
So instead of ‘Free cash withdrawals’ we ‘mistranslated’ and wrote ‘free erections’. This is ridiculous, we were really pushing it this time, the words are not
even close in Welsh. The sign should have read Arian am ddim but instead it was
Codiad am ddim. I was sure that people would see through the ruse but people
are so keen for their ten minutes of fame that as soon as they noticed they phoned the Echo.
It took two days before it hit the local rag
and then the national newspapers ran with it a day or so later. Then we put out
an apology keeping it in the news. Before long the story was all over social
media and now all the people of the town know there are a cashpoint machines at
the local stores.
So next time you see an hilarious mistranslation or Scottish on sign in England etc ask yourself was that really an accident or did I have my tricky hands on the controls?
So next time you see an hilarious mistranslation or Scottish on sign in England etc ask yourself was that really an accident or did I have my tricky hands on the controls?
I think that free erection at a cash point is highly possible - seeing a lot of money or the prospect of getting money can really turn you on:-)
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