The Crow/The Human

This was an exercise we did in class this week. 
For audio click here 
The Crow

It’s true that I wasn’t looking where I was going, but still I didn’t expect that to happen. I mean I’m never looking where I’m going, not really, but an incident like that has never happened before. I was looking at the girl with the smile, who would after the incident become the girl who laughed at me and who helped me up. The wind whipped up the Taff and tossed the bare trees too and fro. The sky might have hinted at summer months to come but the temperature still firmly said winter. The girl with the smile ignored me as she passed; so much beauty but so little taste. And then the incident happened. Now crows might look small but when they get blown off course and clatter into you they can punch well above their weight. A blur of feathers, caws, talons and beaks knocked me clean off my feet and into the daffodils growing by the side of the path. My first thought was that I hoped no one had seen my misfortune, but the female laughter told me the girl with the smile had born witness. My second thought was I hope there were no cameras, the last thing I needed was a ‘man versus crow” viral video. I felt a hand hook me up and I looked into those devastatingly beautiful brown eyes.

She asked me if I was okay. I nodded, I had one or two scrapes and bruises but nothing serious. When she was sure there was nothing broken she turned and left. Maybe I should have hammed it up, croaked and groaned for her benefit. Maybe she’d have stuck around longer, we could have struck up a rapport. Oh well. I brushed mud off my trousers and continue on my way; keeping a look out for out of control crows.

The Human

People! The bane of my life. Without people this world would be a much safer place. They are never looking where they’re effing going. Bloody idiots they are; heads down over those effing shiny things in their hands or staring at other people or cawing away and not being aware of what’s around them. One of them nearly effing broke my bloody wing today because he was obsessed with the female of the species and wasn’t paying due care and attention.

To be fair it wasn’t ideal flying conditions; the wind was whistling through the trees making take off and landing particularly fraught. But I’m an experienced flyer aren’t I? I can cope with a bit of breeze. What I can’t cope with is some effing idiot turning around, looking backwards while walking forwards. He was all over the place; like a bloody drunken seagull. I tried to avoid him but he lurched left and in a blur of arms, hair, cries and legs he clattered in to me. Weird thing about humans, they’re five times the size of us but it was me that dumped him into the flowers not the other way round. I reckon we could have them if only we could organise. Anyway pain shot up my left wing. I thought it was broken for a minute but a few flaps and I managed to fly off the pain, leaving the idiot to pick himself out of the daffodils.