The Ferris Wheel

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Mark took his place in the line. There were five people in front of him. Somehow he’d expected it to be busier than this. You hear all these scare stories about the crowds and the queues and people dying to get in. But there wasn’t the reported pandemonium or panic. Everything was really quite calm. But Mark was glad there were five people ahead of him. It gave him time to rehearse his story; have what he was going to say down pat.
He wouldn’t mention the Ferris Wheel. He’d call it a fairground ride. That would bring a Roller Coaster or Pirate Ship to mind, something scary and dangerous, not the tame old Ferris Wheel.

He shuffled forward looking around seeing if there was anyone he knew. There must be someone he knew somewhere, they can’t all have gone to the other place. Each person was processed in a matter of minutes, so it wasn’t long before he stepped forwards and St Peter looked him square in the eyes.

“Name?”

“Mark Lewis.”

“For data protection reasons I need to ask you your date of birth.”

“14/10/1968”

“Ah a libra.” St Peter looked down at his pad. “Cause of death?”

“Cardiac arrest.” Mark looked at St P Was he suppressing a smile?

“Place of death?”

He was, the bastard was trying not to laugh.

“It’s not funny you know.” Mark said crossing his arms.

“Sorry!” St Peter wiped his face. “Place of death?”

“On a fairground ride.”

“Prfffff”

“Sorry?”

“Oh sorry something in my throat.” St Peter pretended to cough. He wiped away a tear. His face was the colour Mark’s had been back down on earth.

“Exact nature of the ride.”

“Why does it matter?”

Mark could see St P was enjoying this. Surely this wasn’t angelic behaviour.

“I need to make sure our records are up to date. Oh and do remember, lying is not allowed up here.”

“Furis weel” Mark said.

“Speak up man.” St Peter said, his voice squeaking.

“A bloody Ferris Wheel okay. I had a bloody Cardiac Arrest on a Ferris Wheel.”

Suddenly there were angels everywhere and deafening laughter. Sides were splitting and floors were being rolled on.
Mark shook his head and turned his back.

“I think I’ll go to the other place,” he said, and got back in the lift.

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