The long way round

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So far this week it’s insomnia two, Gareth one. Saturday night I took an early lead. I slept like a dream. Not waking up once in the night, no checking Facebook, no tweeting my insomnial woes. But on Sunday insomnia hit back with a vengeance. A sustained attack left me tossing and turning and staring at my midnight ceiling for about three and a half hours. Monday night was better, there wasn’t the knockout blow of the previous night, but insomnia certainly won on points. What is it about two thirty am that makes me want to be so wide awake?

But last night it was different, yes my internal two thirty alarm call had me staring at the ceiling for a little while, but then, well then it all went a little odd.

During the previous two sleepless nights, I’d noticed how dark the door was in the eerie light of my new flat. Compared to the rest of the room, it seemed pitch black. But on neither of those occasions did I have the need or the will. to investigate further. Last night it was my bladder that had caused the early alarm call, so without putting on my bedside lamp, I swung my legs out of bed and reached for the door handle. But my hand hit nothing, nothing I tell you. A void, an abyss.

Guessing I must have left the bedroom door open, I stepped forward Then…

I was falling, falling, floating through time and air. Through blackness so beautiful it nearly sang. I drifted down, down, through the sanguine atmosphere of the unknown. Somersaulting, twisting and turning like a very bad Olympic diver in slow motion. I should have been scared, but there was something soothing about the darkness. It was like a caress, a cwtch. I was enveloped in the softness of the dark. This would have been beautiful if it wasn’t for the fact that I still really needed a wee. As gravity gently sucked me down to god knows where, my thoughts began to wonder if there’d be a toilet at my final destination.

I sensed I was slowing, coming in for a landing. The dark seemed to be lighter, it was streetlight dark. Like a feather I swayed this way and that and then gently touched down on cool terra firma, my journey over. Now I had to work out where the hell I was. I reached forward instinctively and pulled the light switch, as the light slowly came on I found myself sitting on my own toilet, I’d obviously gone the long way round.

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