Poetry Friday 24 Christmas Special

Most of this week I’ve been writing stories inspired by Christmas songs. So today here are my new versions  of some of the songs you are sick to death of if you’ve been out Christmas shopping this week. As with all Christmas specials, this was recorded back in October with fake snow etc. 

For audio click here.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

Well the weather outside is unseasonably warm.

and the fire is not really needed.

and it’s the warmest Christmas on Record.

Global warming, global warming global warming.

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer

Rudolph the red nosed reindeer.

Had some really horrible friends.

Who ostracised him completely

because he didn’t look the same as them

is this the kind of lesson

we want our kids to hear.

to bully and exclude poor Rudolph

because he likes a drop of beer.

Santa Claus is coming to town.

You better watch out,

you better not cry,

you better not pout

I’m telling you why.

because mummy and daddy have bought into an elaborate hoax and are now blackmailing you about your behaviour, but don’t worry you’ll more than likely get presents no matter how you behave.

T’was the night before Christmas

T’was the night before Christmas

and all through the land

fights were erupting

getting out of hand.

Fights in the streets

arms like windmills,

fights in the living rooms

over credit card bills.

dramatic bust-ups then

tears in the loos

Mothers chide fathers

for getting on the booze.

But on Christmas morning

it’s all in the past

it reminds to be seen

if the ceasefire will last.

Join me next week for poetry Friday number 25. Will this madness never stop.