Dead Man's Computer

They all agreed it’d be bad form to send the request before the deed was done but that didn’t stop Graham, Stephanie and Chris from having the email ready to send for the exact moment that the guillotine fell.

Rumours had been flying round all week about job cuts and, as was the tradition in their company, it was last in first out. So when newbie Andrew was summoned to the CEO’s office they all knew what it meant.
It meant that Andrew’s super duper computer would soon be without an owner andthe three of them all had designs on it.

When Andrew had joined the sales team the company had given him the latest, the best, the most powerful computer the company had ever bought. The three of them had complained bitterly at the time, why hadn’t one of them got it but their objections had been waved away like a referee giving a penalty.But now was their chance to get their hands on it. They didn’t care that it wasa dead man’s computer, they just wanted it. As soon as Andrew left the CEO’s office the emails were fired off, all they could do was sit and wait.

Chris came into the office looking like he did on the day of his divorce when he’d seen the size of the alimony payment he was going to have to make. His wife sure had screwed him over. But this time his ashen face was because he’d been fired.  Brutally fired too, clear your desk and be out of here in 20 minutes fired.

Graham and Stephanie sat in silence, they couldn’t believe Chris had been given his marching orders. Chris was one of the good guys, he didn’t deserve this, and this latest move proved it was no longer last in first out; Chris was one of the longest serving around.

The atmosphere had changed so much in the office over the past three months. When Andrew and the others had left, the management had promised no more job cuts but Graham and Steph had noticed that people had periodically disappeared since then. First Julie from accounts then Ed from HR and they hadn’t seen Mark from IT for a while. Now it was Chris. As he watched their fallen colleague pack away his stuff Graham reflected on how much they had all wanted the computer Chris was now shutting down. None of them had got it when Andrew left but about 3 weeks ago Chris had had a visit from the IT Santa Claus.

Graham was lost in thought, about 3 weeks ago, that was the last time he’d seen Mark from IT. Maybe Mark had been the recipient after Andrew.

About 30 minutes after Chris left his desk Dan the IT services man cameto collect the computer.

‘Oh this one again.’ Dan said to no one in particular.

‘What d’ya mean?’ said Graham suddenly piqued with interest.

‘Well, it’s been through a few hands recently this computer.’

‘Let me guess,’ said Graham, ‘Mark from IT, and Andrew.’

‘More than that.’ said Dan, ‘I collected it from accounts and HR too. Dunno what’s wrong with it.’ With that the IT man went away whistling  Oasis's ‘Out of time’.

‘The computer’s cursed.’ said Graham to Stephanie, Hitchcock’s violinsplaying in his imagination.

‘Don’t be daft.’ Stephanie had no truck with superstition.

‘No look, Andrew, then Julie, Ed, Mark and now Chris, it’s the computer I tell thee, there's a spell on it.’

‘Nonsense’ Stephanie waved Graham away.

Two days later Dan IT guy came back into the office smiling, ‘Good news, one of you two gets a new computer.’ Graham and Stephanie turned round to see the IT guy holding Andrew/Chris’s cursed device, Graham was hoping it would be Steph who would get the evil beast.

‘Congrats Graham, this little beauty is yours.’

Even Stephanie afforded a little smile to herself as Graham reached out and reluctantly took the machine, knowing deep down that his fate was sealed. 

Just a gigolo?

This story does contain some strong language and discussons of a sordid nature. Enjoy :-)

‘I've got a favour to ask you,’ Christie said ‘but you might not like it.'

Christie and I had a strange relationship, we'd been friends and lovers but never partners and now she was with Rendall I guessed we never would be.

‘I’m listening.’ I said wondering what she could want. I was guessing she might want a quicky while her new bloke was away on business, she did that sometimes.

‘Well, I’ve got this friend, Helen, and well…’ she was hesitant now not sure how to phrase it, I was wondering where on earth she was going with this.

‘She’s been single a while and well, we were talking about sex and the conversation got round to me and you and well she was wondering if maybe you’d…’

‘Yeees.’ I was beginning to get the picture but I was enjoy Christie’s pain as she struggled for the words.

‘The thing is she’s not looking for a relationship so she was wondering if you’d just you know…’

‘Fuck her?’ I said. Despite being on the phone I knew she was blushing. She made an affirmative noise down the line.

To be honest I was blushing too, it was a much more difficult question to answer than I thought it would be. Here was I being offered no strings sex but somehow it didn’t feel right. It felt, I dunno, like I was being passed round like a dog-eared copy of Penthouse in a boys’ boarding school? But if that didn’t feel right her next line felt even worse.

‘She’ll pay you.’

‘She’ll what now?’ What the fuck was going on here?

‘She’ll pay you, she knows it's a weird request so she’ll pay you.’

Well I didn’t know what to think, was I just a gigolo, did everyone know the part I was playing except me? I suppose on the one hand I was flattered -Christie had recommended me and obviously thought I was worth paying for. But on the other I felt cheap, grubby. Was I just a piece of meat to them, just asexual being, just a walking, talking, living blow up doll? Did they think I was that desperate, that shallow, that empty that I would sell my body for sex.

‘So?’ I was so lost in my thoughts I had forgotten Christie was on the end of the line waiting for a response. 

I’d made up my mind and with a deep breath I said …

Click on the numbers for Part 2 and 3 

Bark is worse than his bite?

There were two reasons why Emma was leaving Billy. The first was his wind. He’d always been a bit windy but recently it had become a lot worse, the boy seemed to have his own eco-system. The thing was he didn’t know he was doing it. It all happened after he’d fallen asleep. She’d wake up at night gasping for air, the room smelling of rotten eggs, stale beer or worse. Emma was surprised it didn’t start raining some nights so thick was the fog that her boyfriend created; that’d be some potent acid rain she thought.

The second reason was his violence, not to her mind you, he was as good as gold to her - he'd shout occassionally but to her his bark was worse than his bite. But every Friday night he came home from the pub covered in cuts and bruises, with blood stained clothes and bloody knuckles. He'd always make the same joke - you should see the other guy, but to her it was no laughing matter. Twice she’d had to pick him up from the cop shop and once from the hospital. Would it only be a matter of time before his temper snapped and he turned those fists on her? She didn’t want to be around to find out.

So as she packed her things ready to make her escape she wondered if his farts were worse than his fights.