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Friday, 16 October 2015
Defeated By Insomnia
Danny watched the hipster geezer sipping his coffee and knew he had himself a new victim. On the table in front of the geezer was a Macbook, an iPad and an iPhone and his expensive headphones were attached to a hidden fourth device. If this was what this dude carried around with him, then his home must be an Aladdin’s cave. Danny waited. He was good at waiting. He wasn’t a cat burglar for nothing; he knew when to stalk and when to strike. When the geezer had finished his coffee, Danny followed him home; he made a mental note of the address and headed down the bookies.
The following morning Danny watched hipster skip down the path and then he slipped into the open bathroom window. Danny prided himself on being light-footed and light-fingered. He could slip through the narrowest of windows, tiptoe around a flat and slink out without waking the lightest of sleepers. But he didn’t have to worry about sleepers at the moment; the flat was empty - completely empty. Danny looked around in despair. The bloody idiot carried all his worldly goods around with him like some sort of hipster snail. There wasn’t even an old iPod to snaffle. No bother, Danny would come back later.
Danny looked at his watch, 12.07, the lights had been off for 23 minutes. He usually gave it 30 minutes from lights out to break in. The bathroom window that he’d contorted through earlier in the day was still open. He was all set to go.
Then the bedroom lit up, a small light, the light of an iPhone. The dumb hipster was still awake, probably seeing if someone had relied to his witty meme on Facebook. The light dimmed, Danny checked the time. He’d need to give it at least another 20 minutes now. Danny was cold and wanted to get this over with. The longer he hung around the more chance he had of being noticed.
19 minutes passed. Danny went on tiptoe. He was ready, but then the bedroom window lit up, followed swiftly by the bathroom light, which then switched off followed by the bedroom one.
Just 15 minutes later the iPhone light came on again. The coffee-drinking prick was obviously buzzing on caffeine and had a bladder the size of a pea. Was this what it was like being a parent waiting for their kids to sleep on Christmas Eve? Danny decided to cut his losses and leave. He’d burgled houses with dogs, crept around babies, avoided sleepwalkers but tonight he’d been defeated by insomnia.
Posted by Gareth at 09:41