Tuesday 18 October 2016

When Amazon Attacks

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I wasn't looking for sympathy, I was just looking for someone to lend an ear; to hear my side of the story I suppose. It's not like I was revealing secrets, or telling tales out of school. I just needed a moan, get a few things of my chest. Anyway, Jess wasn’t listening to a word I was saying. Instead, she was standing there in that ridiculous onesie that she wears staring out of my window.
“Are you listening to me?” I said.
There was silence.
“Hey, Jess, are you listening to me?”
“Come and look at this,” she said.
I climbed out of the wardrobe and walked over to the window.
“What?
The back lane didn't look any different from normal, a broken vacuum cleaner sticking out of the recycling bin being the most noteworthy thing.
“There!” she said.
I looked at the sky, a rainbow stretched across it.
“Bloody hell Jess. I'm pouring my heart out to you here and all you can do is stare at rainbows. It's not like they are unusual at this time of year.”
“Look, you wally,” she said.
I looked in the direction she was pointing and I could see them now. Tiny, tiny dots moving towards slowly us through the arc of the rainbow.
“What are they,” I said, “starlings?”
“Hmm, no I think they’re drones. An army of drones.”
“Don't be daft,” I said. “This isn’t some sci-fi  movie.  You don't get drone armies in Butetown.”
“They're bloody drones I tell you,” Jess said.
And she was not wrong; as they got closer I could see the little propellers.
“What are they carrying?” I asked.
“Boxes, they must be those Amazon delivery drones.”
“Oh, maybe it’s my new Xbox, I ordered same delivery.”
“But why so many of them?” she asked. You don’t need a drone army for an Xbox delivery.”
“I don't know,” I said.
They were right above us now, their shadows falling over the flat. I could see the Xbox logo on the side of the boxes.
Without warning, they all let go of their cargo. We were being bombed by delivery drones; Xboxes their weapon of choice. Wave after wave passed over dropping their payload.
They thudded onto the roof, crashed onto the street outside, smashed through the greenhouse glass. We ducked for cover. It was raining games consoles, a terrifying attack of the drones.

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