The Messiah for an hour

I don’t always notice new Twitter followers but something stood out about the name @seventy8. I clicked on their link and was amused to find that they said they were ‘effectively equipping and empowering others with technology within the body of Christ.’  I laughed and thought they must be following the bible literally and loving their enemy. Maybe a modern bible would say, ‘Love thy enemy, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and follow on twitter them which despitefully use you.’  I smiled wondering how they found me and what they thought they’d gain from following me and then clicked back to my timeline hoping whoever @seventy8 was, they were not expecting a 'follow back'.

Because I’d checked out my new follower, I’d also noticed I now had 199 followers. I wondered who would be my 200^th.  I didn’t have to wonder for very long when I went back to Twitter later that evening I found that I had 499 followers. I’d been on that damn site for 3 years, slowly collecting those 199  and then in just under 3 hours I had added 300 more. I clicked to look at the names and saw that all of them were religious groups or individuals. @faithhc @denverchurch @jesuslives etc etc. What the hell was going on? Just while I was checking the names, 30 new followers were added to my list. My follower counter was clicking round like an electricity meter on a cold day in an old people’s home. 529, 530, 531.  This was crazy. I was amazed to see that all these new followers were also messaging me. ‘@garethcz we’re so glad we found you’. ‘@garethcz we are ready to serve, are you ready to lead?’ ‘@garethcz lead us lord and we shall follow.’

What the hell was going on?

Then I noticed in the trending column was the hashtag #thenewmessiah. I clicked on it and there were all my new followers sharing my name and my photo along with this damn title the new messiah. This was crazy, I wasn’t a very naughty boy but in no way was I the new messiah! 
I was more than a little scared, this was freaky, what if these people somehow found out where I lived and all turned up to worship me. I turned Twitter off and tried to watch some TV.

It was impossible of course. How on earth could I concentrate when at least 350 people thought I was the new Christ and was about to save the world? I had to force myself not to go back to the website. I gave it an hour before I finally caved in and had another look. The first thing that struck me was that I now only had 234 followers. I lost them as quickly as I’d put them on. #thenewmessiah was still trending, so I looked at that. Now it said @harethcz was the new messiah.  My initial reaction was relief, I was no longer the new saviour of Christianity, but then I felt a little tinge of sadness -  maybe being the messiah could have been fun.