The Storm that Changed the World

When I wrote this I was playing with repetition, but reviewing it the repetition sounds a bit naive. So I've rewritten it slightly. Which do you prefer?
For new audio click here

Petrichor filled our nostrils and a double rainbow stretched out across the sky. It’d been one hell of a storm. Angry, irate clouds had got a load off their chests. Thunder had bellowed around the sky causing us to jump out of our sodden skins. While lightning lit up the dark day with vividness usually reserved for dreams. The rain had bounced high off the tarmac and formed puddles on the grass. It was an apocalyptic storm that shock our little corner of the world to its core; after this, how could anything be the same again?

As the thunder rumbled off into the distance and the clouds drifted, it felt like a new world had been born.  Somehow the colours of the park looked fresher, more fragile, juvenile. Gone was the jaded, faded yellow hue of the water-starved vegetation. In their place were tentative tints of green and blue, red and orange. The colours slightly out of focus; blurred by the rain; softened by the drops of water still clinging to blades of grass and delicate petals.

I'd been to the park everyday that summer, but I’d never before appreciated the beauty of the nature that surrounded us. I looked at Holly, my tomboy friend; the girl that was rougher, tougher than us boys. Her baggy t-shirt was soaked through; it was clinging to her body and showing the curve of her breast. They were breasts I'd never realise was there. The rain seemed to have washed away her masculinity and painted her with a feminine tint.

I’d known Holly since we were six, but I’d never seen her as a girl; she was always just my friend. But now I saw her in a new way; a blossoming sexuality. The look on her face scared me a little. The way she bit her bottom lip as she stared at me unsettled me.  There was a wild, feral look in her eyes.

A desire filled my body. I knew what I had to do, but I’d never done it before and somehow it felt wrong; she was my best friend. I wouldn’t kiss Dave or Mike or Simon, would I? Maybe she was thinking the same thing; maybe it felt wrong for her too. But this was a brave new world; she was a brave new girl and I was a brave new 14-year-old boy. Thunder murmured from the distance and rain dripped off the shelter roof, but that didn’t dampen our desire. As the sun began to dry up all the rain and the spiders made their weary way back up the water spouts, we lunged for each other and let our tongues do battle like Errol Flynn in his prime. It didn’t feel wrong anymore.

For audio click here 

Petrichor filled our nostrils and a double rainbow stretched out across the sky. It’d been one hell of a storm. Angry, irate clouds had got a load off their chests. Thunder had bellowed around the sky causing us to jump out of our sodden skins, while lightning lit up the dark day with vividness usually reserved for dreams. It was an apocalyptic storm that shock our corner of the world to its core; after this how could anything be the same again? And as the thunder rumbled off into the distance and the clouds drifted away taking the last few dregs of rain with them, it felt like a new world had been born. Somehow the colours of the park looked fresher, fragile, juvenile. Gone was the jaded, faded yellow hue of the water starved vegetation; replaced by tentative tints of green and blue, red and orange; the colours slightly out of focus; somehow blurred by the rain, softened by the drops of water still clinging to blades of grass and delicate petals.

I’d been to the park everyday that summer, but I’d never before appreciated the beauty of the nature that was before us. I looked at Holly, my tomboy friend; the girl that was rougher, tougher than the rest of us. Her baggy t-shirt was soaked through, making it cling to her body, showing the curve of her breast; a breast I'd never realise was there.The rain seemed to have washed away her masculinity and painted her with a feminine tint. I’d spent every day of that summer with Holly but I’d never before appreciated the beauty of the nature that was before me. I saw her with a new vividness that is usually reserved for dreams. The look on her face scared me a little, she bit her bottom lip in a way I’d never seen before. There was a wild, feral, look in her eyes, I knew what I had to do, but I’d never done it before and somehow it felt wrong; she was my best friend. I wouldn’t kiss Dave or Mike or Simon, would I? Maybe she was thinking the same thing, maybe it felt wrong for her too. But this was a brave new world; she was a brave new girl and I was a brave new 14-year-old boy. Thunder murmured from the distance and rain dripped off the shelter roof but that didn’t dampen our desire. As the sun began to dry up all the rain and the spiders made their weary way back up the water spouts, we lunged for each other and let our tongues do battle like Errol Flynn in his prime. It didn’t feel wrong anymore.