The Panini Sticker Album

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James collected women like 10-year-old boys collect Panini World Cup stickers. Anyone who has collected those stickers knows there is something special about unwrapping a new packet, seeing what delights it held, holding your breath as you reveal the contents and then the feeling of elation or disappointment depending on the goodies inside. Soon you would be craving a new packet; the new was always more thrilling than the old. James was never satisfied with what he had, he always wanted more and more and when he saw one of his friends with one he didn't have, he craved and coveted it, until he finally got it and if you spent enough money, you usually got what you wanted.

But unlike those 10-year-old boys who proudly stuck their stickers in their albums, James was scared to make the commitment; instead he kept them all over the place. Often losing track of a few and letting the others get tatty and old. But then James met Kirsty, Kirsty was the Cristiano Ronaldo sticker of the female world. Graceful, elegant, skilful, incredibly good-looking and extremely difficult to get your hands on, she was the one everyone wanted. The one that nobody could quite believe existed until you saw it and even then you couldn't be sure if it wasn't your eyes playing tricks on you. James would swap all of his stickers for a chance to get Kirsty into his album.

The problem was Kirsty belonged to Eddie and there was no way Eddie was going to let her out of his grubby little hands. He’d got her firmly affixed to his album. Eddie knew he had a gem, knew he had a rare jewel and he'd do anything to protect her.
Like any ten-year-old who couldn’t get what he wanted, James got moody, he began to hate going to the pub, he hated the thought of having to sit and look at his unrequited love for the whole evening in the knowledge that she'd never be his, that there would always be an empty space staring back at him where her sticker should have gone.
But one night a miracle happened, Kirsty was sitting there in the pub as beautiful as ever, but next to her was a double, a spare, a duplicate, whatever you called it; there was another Ronaldo, Kirsty had a twin.