Wednesday 27 March 2013

Ironing


Fancy listening to the story instead of reading it. 


‘What’s got your goat?’ Pete said to his miserable looking friend before turning to the barmaid to order the drinks.
‘Just had a fight with Liz.’
‘Oh dear, honeymoon period wearing off is it?’ Jez had just moved in with his girlfriend, this was the first time since the big occasion that Pete had seen him looking down in the dumps.
‘I dunno,’ Jez shrugged. ‘I just obviously don’t understand women.’
‘What did you do?’
‘Why do you think I did anything?’ asked Jez looking hurt.
‘We’ve always done something, mate, we’ve always done something. It’s not just you.’
‘Well I didn’t do anything, she thinks I’ve done something… but I didn’t…not really.’
‘Okay, here we go, what does she think you’ve done?’
‘She thinks I criticised her ironing?’
‘Ouch!’ Pete visibly recoiled. ‘You did what? Have you not read the rulebook?’
‘But I didn’t, all I said was my mother does it differently.’
‘Oh my god! You did what? What were you thinking?Talk about cardinal sin. Mate, you are in for a month of hail Marys.’
‘But I didn’t criticise her, see you are jumping to the same conclusion. I was genuinely interested, I thought she might have a better way to do it. A trick that makes it easier.’
‘Please don’t tell me that she was ironing your shirt.’
Jez nodded, pulling at his shirt to indicate it was the one he was wearing.
‘And she finished it? I am surprised there is not a brown iron-shapedmark on it.’
‘Nah I had to finish it myself…while she went off in a huff. But why did she assume I was saying my mother was better than her?’
Pete looked at his forlorn mate. Was he genuinely expecting an answer? If he was then he was a lost cause.
‘Three golden rules mate, three golden rules; never compare her to your mother, whether it;s good or bad, never criticise her housework and do your own bloody ironing.’
Jez shook his head ‘I think I’m going to have to and probably hers too. … I should call her.’
‘Yeah mate, I think you should.’
With that Jez went outside leaving Pete to contemplate what a monkey his mate was. 

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