Sunday 14 April 2013

Boomerang



Suki had been promised a new computer and it was about time too. Her old laptop was like a breeze block, it was at least 7 years old, still ran on XP and took an age to start. She could get to work, start it up, pop down to Starbucks, come back with a skinny latte, chat to her colleagues, go to the toilet and still wait 10 minutes for it to load. The fact that it shut itself down at least twice a day exasperated that fact as she had to do 2 more restarts. There was only so much skinny latte a girl could drink. Even after it had got up and running it was a slow as a tortoise on downers.
So today was the day, she took the clapped out old machine down to the cave as the IT department was known, gave it to one of the cavemen, the one they called helmet head because of his interesting hairstyle and left, knowing that in 2 hours if all went to plan she’d have a new toy.
What do they say about the best laid plans of mice and men? Less than 40 minutes late the caveman called helmet head was on the phone.
‘Er little problem, we can’t start the new computer, we’re sending it back to the factory. It’ll be ready in a week.’
‘So what do I do until then?’ There was a tone to Suki voice, that was pleading with the caveman not to send her back the old laptop.


‘Er, well I’ll bring up your old one. It’s lasted this long I am sure it can last another day or two.’

A week later helmet head rang Suki to tell her the new machine was back from the factory. ‘Good as new’ he told her, ‘we’ll have you up and running in no time.’
So Suki went down once more into the cave, this time it had to work, didn’t it?
It didn’t! 3 hours later the call came.
‘I’m sorry there is a problem with the transfer of data, it is taking longer than we thought. I’m going to a conference and I need to leave so I’ve cancelled the transfer.’
‘So what do I do until now?’ That tone was pleading back but the answer was the same. ‘Come and get your old one, I’ll be back in the office on Friday. Bring it down then.’
Suki was sick of it. When had her computer morphed into a bloody boomerang?
Friday came and went, she called the IT department but there was no answer, it turned up they had an away day to the mountains. Suki shuddered to think what an IT group bonding session looked like.
Finally at 4pm on Monday helmet hair came in with the new computer. ‘All fired up and ready to go,’ he announced with a smile and a fiddle of his glasses.
Suki took the new machine and once she had cleansed it with an antiseptic wipe started exploring.
It was fantastic, like magic, so fast, so efficient she loved it already.
But then disaster – there was a crackle a fizz and then smoke emerged from the stupid device. She quickly called the cavemen.
Two minutes later helmet head was in her office again holding her old computer.

Postscript 
Suki did eventually get her new computer, a fully functioning machine that she now hates, why? Well the laptop is so quick she has to do twice as much work.  :-) 

1 comment:

  1. This is not called "twice as much work". This is called "optimisation" or "personal time management" or just "personal development".... Suki should be happy and demonstrate more enthusiasm and appreciate the fact that she contributes to the glory of her company! Howgh:)

    ReplyDelete