Flash Mob

Say what you like about them not paying their taxes and about them homogenising the high street but Starbucks has its uses. Free wifi, free refills, clean toilets and the pretty girl with the lop-sided smile and black-rimmed glasses behind the counter was enough to make me a regular that summer.

I liked watching them work, it seemed like they turned making coffee into a performance art, a ballet,  poetry of movement.

When they were busy they asked people for their name and wrote it on the cups in black felt pen, then when the skinny latte was made the pretty girl would call out the names in her pretty voice making me smile as I watched. It was then I had my flash mob idea.

I advertised on Facebook and Twitter and set a time and date for the masses to assemble in the coffee shop. About 20 people replied and that was enough, it didn’t have to be hundreds of people, just some.

I walked in the café bang on time, it was more crowded than I’d ever seen it. My friend Tim was there, camera at the ready, but the rest of the people were complete strangers. I’d told them I would be in the straw hat and they winked and smiled at me as I shuffled up to the bar and took my place in the queue. Sure enough they were taking names, but when I saw it was pretty girl serving I almost bottled out. Did I want to embarrass her? 
I’d thought about using the name Spartacus but that was too obvious. So, instead when she asked me my name I said loudly and boldy ‘Brian’. She smiled her sweet smiled and wrote the name on the cup.

The male server was put the finishing touches to  my latte and called out my ‘name.’ That was the cue and it worked perfectly.

The large man at the back of the shop was the first to call out.

‘I’m Brian,’ he sung in a pefect Eric Idle voice and then everyone joined in.

‘I’m Brian,’ ‘I’m Brian of Nazareth.’ ‘I’m Brian and so’s my wife.’

There were suddenly 25 or 30 Brian’s in the room, male, female, old and young. The look on faces of the serving staff was a picture as they went from confusion to realisation that this was a preconceived joke.

As I took my coffee I turned away and said ‘Nah, I'm not I’m only joking, I’m only pulling your leg.’

If you enjoyed this, check out my coffee blog here

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