Signs - A Steve Rant

‘Did you see this?’ Steve had been reading the newspaper while Johnny was in the loo and now pushed it across the table to Johnny.

Johnny smiled as he read the article Steve had pointed to, apparently a road sign asking cyclists to get off their bikes had been translated into Welsh as ‘Bladder disease has returned.’

‘That’s quite amusing.’ said Johnny. 

‘It is quite amusing, but look at the headline’ Steve demanded. ‘Look at the headline.’

Johnny did as he was told.

‘Road sign leaves Welsh-speakers bewildered, what’s wrong with that?’

‘Bewildered my arse, bewildered? Who on earth gets bewildered by that? Amused maybe, intrigued possibly but bewildered? Really? How twp do you need to be to be bewildered by something like this?’

Johnny smiled.

‘No doubt this poor fellow was so confused he wandered around so discombobulated by the whole thing and the only thing he could think of was phoning the Echo.’

Steve put on a daft Welsh accent. ‘’I never wanted my face on page 7 of the Echo,’ said the bewildered Welsh speaker, ‘but I was so confounded by the whole thing, I just took leave of my senses and found myself phoning the fourth emergency number the South Wales Echo..”’

Johnny went to speak but Steve hadn’t finished.

‘Or maybe he immediately phoned his doctor demanding tests for bladder problems telling the confused doc he’d seen the signs.’

‘Steve, it’s a headline.’ Johnny said but he knew he was trying to patch up a gunshot wound with an Elastoplast.

‘But why must they exaggerate, it’s a good enough story on it’s own. Why not just have. Welsh sign Mix up as the headline.’

‘Cos there has to be a human element to it Steve. You know that.’

‘There was another one a few weeks ago’ Steve continued 'when the sign was upside down in Pontypridd. The BBC’s headline was something like “Upside down sign an error.” Well no shit Sherlock but I bet the people of Ponty were glad the beeb cleared that up. "Oh look Beryl the BBC says it’s an error, well I’m glad they’ve cleared that up."

“oh there we are then, cos we were confused weren’t we?"

"Aye, I’ve barely been able to think straight."

‘Steve mate, it’s your round.’ 

Steve looked at Johnny’s empty glass nodded reluctantly before standing up and trudging to the bar to refresh their drinks. 

And to prove Steve isn’t making it up  
http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/road-sign-leaves-welsh-speakers-bewildered-2321082
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-south-east-wales-27370122