Steve’s Summer Time Bingo

Steve’s face was like thunder as he came into the bar, Johnny smiled, he knew full well that it was time for Steve’s yearly summer time rant and he could predict exactly what his old mate was going to say. Steve wasn’t a fan of summer so every year after the first couple of very hot days he’d go off on a familiar rant.  This year Johnny was prepared, he’d written down a few phrases on a piece of paper so he could play he very own game of Steve’s Summer Time Bingo.

Steve nodded at Johnny, sat down and took a long gulp of the beer that Johnny had thoughtfully bought for him. Then he sat back and wiped the sweat from his brow. Ah here we go thought Johnny.

‘7pm and it’s still bloody boiling hot.’ Steve said, ‘is there no let up?’  Tick thought Johnny, mentally ticking off one of the items on his list.  

‘I bloody hate this weather, why do weather forecasters say “another beautiful day”?’ (Tick). ‘What is beautiful about it? If it’s so beautiful why was there no one smiling on the bus here? Lots of long faces, lots of frowns, lots of puffed out cheeks but not one smile,’ Steve said, taking another swig of his beer. ‘What’s beautiful about not being able to move without pouring with sweat?’ (tick) ‘About public transport smelling like a gym changing room?’ (tick) ‘and… what are you grinning at?’ The look on Johnny’s face had disrupted Steve’s train of thought.

‘Nothing,’ said Johnny ‘go on.’

Steve hesistated and then relaunched his rant.‘And what’s so beautiful about needing to have the aircon on?’ (tick) ‘Meaning we are killing the planet and killing my throat.’ Steve coughed to emphasise the point.

‘But there are benefits as well,’ Johnny said, watching a pretty girl in a flowery summer dress walk towards the bar.

‘True, true’  Steve’s eyes also followed the girl, ‘but you know, I’m not even sure that makes up for the long, sleepless nights’ (tick) ‘waiting for the temperature to dip to somewhere near normal so you can get some sleep, and don’t get me started on the mosquitos. Keep the windows closed boil to death, open them get eaten alive.’

‘Bingo!’ Johnny said.

‘What?’ Steve took another gulp looking a little confused.

‘Bingo, you ‘ve said them all.’ Johnny said, unfolding a piece of paper and showing it to Steve.  “Every summer it’s the same.’

‘Well sorry if I’m boring you.’ said Steve indignantly.

‘Not at all,’ said Johnny smiling.

Steve took a last swig of his beer and got up to go to the bar taking a friendly swipe at his mate with the piece of paper that he still had in his hand.