Monday 30 June 2014

Social Pariahs



Hell, being a yogurt eater is such hard work these days, we’re like social pariahs. It’s so annoying that since the yogurt ban came in, you’re not even allowed to eat yogurt inside rented accommodation. I was just out on the balcony now, eating a yogurt, and people were just giving me dirty looks.
In theory I like the yogurt ban, it has certainly improved public places, do you remember before it everyone was eating yogurts at their desks? It was horrible, especially for the non-eater, so even if you didn't eat yogurt you still went home smelling of it. It would get on your clothes, in your hair and god know what harm secondary yogurt eating did to your health. But I don’t understand why the ban extends to rented accommodation.
It’s such a pain having to go outside every time you fancy a yogurt. I'm lucky I only eat one a day okay sometimes maybe two but some of my friends eat much more and so they’re forever nipping out for a yogurt.
Not so bad now in the summer of course but in the winter it’s a right pain in the neck, putting on your coat and gloves just to have a yogurt.
The worst thing is having to make conversation with other yogurt eaters. Look mate just because we share the same vice doesn’t mean you can engage me with your narrow minded little Englander views. Leave me to eat my yogurt in peace.
People tell me I should give up yogurts all together but you know that is easier said than done, I have tried but each time I just end up having the odd one again and before I know it I’m back to being an eater.

Apparently you can get electronic yogurts now, but I’m not so sure they are any better really, who's to say they don't have dangerous toxins. So, I'll keep eating my yogurt out on the balcony like the good law abiding citizen that I am.

5 comments:

  1. You're wonderfully crazy:-)

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  2. You yogurt
    Me chiclets.

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    Replies
    1. Oh that Chiclet ban is really draconian isn’t it :-)

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    2. Oh Yeah! But
      I forgot to say "Me Ex-chiclets"..Once I left all of them I became to a Draconian's as some of "Ex" did it :o)

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