Supermarket Sweep

Tesco, Friday afternoon, carnage, utter carnage. Shoppers buying food like it was the last day on earth. Did these people not know that the supermarket would be open again tomorrow? Trolleys were packed sky high while shelves were looking a little threadbare; try as they might the staff were unable to keep up with the grabbing hands grabbing all they could.

The air crackled with tension, it was one of those days that if two hands settled on the last packet of cornflakes at the same time, all hell could break lose. There’d be scuffles over the scones, melees by the melons, and a rumpus over the rice. Every one was frazzled, at their wits end. It was as if it was a public audition for scowl factor.

Then there was silence, well if you could call wailing bells silence. The cacophony of the alarm had frozen everyone to the spot. A fire alarm in a supermarket is the last thing you expect, in a school yes, in a hotel maybe, but in a supermarket?

‘Ladies and Gentlemen, please stay calm, leave your trolleys and make your way to the exits. Leave your shopping and calmly make your way to the exits. Please do not run.’

The voice was calm but firm and firmly ignored; once the initial shock was over people ran, people screamed and people certainly weren’t going to leave their hard won shopping just because a fire alarm was ringing. Staff were powerless to stop the hordes of customers wheeling their unpaid for shopping out of the supermarket. Those who had just paid looked on with a sense on injustice as the majority got their weekly shop for free.

I opened my boot and started loading the loot.

‘There must be over 200 pounds worth here,’ I said to Jane who had just joined me and was helping me load the car. The sirens wailed as the police and fire brigade arrived but they wouldn’t be needed, this was a false alarm.

‘Shall I return the trolley?’ Jane said.

‘Nah, leave it, they can have our pound.’ I smiled. ‘Now let’s get out of here.’

I got in the passenger seat and Jane started the car but we didn’t go anywhere.

‘Shit!’ she said under her breath. I looked around to see what was upsetting her and there blocking us in was a police car and a supermarket security woman.

A policeman approached my side; I rolled down the window.

‘C’mon office, everyone left without paying, why are you singling us out?’ I asked with a smile.

‘I think you two are a little bit different don’t you?' he said, 'because your friend here,’ he nodded at Jane, ‘is on film setting off the fire alarm.’