What I didn't expect was the man sitting next to the window to go down clutching his ear like a sniper had taken him out. As soon as I forced the window open, he'd collapsed in a heap. The bullet of cooler air ripping through his auditory canal and lodging itself in his Eustachian tube. Writhing in pain, he immediately demanded the window be shut. Onlookers looked on appalled by my aggressive actions; how dare I break the non-fresh air pact? The tutting had started, and the spells were being cast.
I tried to explain to my victim that the tram was smelly, but I think only made it worse. My Czech was never that good at the best of times, let alone after 6 months away. The onlookers gasped and the spells were silenced as I told the stricken passenger – that he and not the tram was smelly.