LadyLlyn

Another of my reworked, modernised traditional Welsh Folk tales. There are many versions of the original, here are three links to take you to an original.

http://www.sacred-texts.com/neu/celt/wfb/wfb03.htm

http://www.breconbeacons.org/lady-lake-physicians-myddfai

http://myths.e2bn.org/mythsandlegends/textonly508-the-lady-of-van-lake.html

For others in my series click here, here, here  here and here.

For audio click here

Gwyn flicked through the images on Plenty of Fish with very little enthusiasm. He’d been on this dating site for two months with very little success. A few conversations had led nowhere and the two that led to meetings he’d wished had led nowhere. He was now browsing more out of hope than expectation. It was just the same old faces that had been there when he’d joined. It was as if people didn’t really want to meet anyone, they just liked being on the site.

Then he saw her. LadyLlyn She was the most beautiful woman he had ever set eyes on. Her long blonde hair shimmered in the photograph, her eyes sparkled and her smiled sang. His heart did a quick intro to Ant Music.

But it was hopeless. A lass like her would have so many men chasing her that there was no way Gwyn could hope to stand out, no way at all. It wasn’t even worth bothering sending his wittily composed, generic introductory message.

“What the fuck?” he said to himself and sent it anyway; after all you’ve got to be in to to win it.

To his amazement he got almost an immediate reply.

“With a message so glib, you can not have me?”

What the hell did that mean? He couldn’t think what to say, so decided he’d reply later, but by the time he got back to his phone. LadyLlyn was gone. She’d disabled her account. Some other lucky bastard had probably won her heart.

Three days later she was back. Once again that beautiful face, that lovely hair, those haunting eyes were staring at him from his phone. He decided to compose another message. Glib was wrong, so he went serious. He read it through, decided the tone was right and pressed send.

To his amazement he got almost an immediate reply.

“With a message so grave, you can not have me?”

What the hell did that mean? He wrote another reply but it wouldn’t send; she’d disabled her account already.

Gwyn was distraught. No other woman on the site measured up to LadyLlyn. They didn’t even come close.

It was a week before she reappeared but Gwyn was ready for her; his first message had been too glib, his second one too grave, he had to go for somewhere in between.

To his amazement he got almost an immediate reply.

“With a message so genuine, you can have me? Wanna meet for coffee?”

Gwyn was cock-a-hoop. They exchanged messages and made arrangements. Then came her final message. It arrived just three minutes before they met.

“Beware, if you strike me three careless blows then I shall disappear for ever.”

Gwyn didn’t know what that meant but he didn’t hit anyone let alone women, so he had nothing to fear.

LadyLlyn was even more beautiful in the flesh than she was in her photos. What’s more she insisted on paying for everything. She was perfect. It was the most delightful first date.

As they were walking home through the rain a car sped towards them. Gwyn could see that it was heading straight for a puddle, and they would be sprayed with water.

“Look out!” he said and not wanting to see that beautiful hair damaged by dirty rain water he pushed LadyLlyn out of the way; The water erupted but missed them by millimetres.

“Oh Gwyn, be careful for you have struck me a blow. Two more and I shall disappear for ever.”

“But I was saving you from the puddle,” Gwyn protested.

“No buts my love,” LadyLlyn said.

Gwyn and LadyLlyn were barely out of each other’s sight for the next few months. They did everything together with LadyLlyn still paying. They even went to a rugby match and it was at one such game when the second blow came. They were watching from the safety of the stand when the ball was kicked towards them. Not wanting his lovely LadyLlyn to be falconed, Gwyn reached to catch the ball,  but in doing so knocked LadyLlyn out of the way.

“Oh Gwyn, be careful for you have struck me a blow. One more and I shall disappear for ever.”

“But I was saving you from the ball,” Gwyn protested.

“No buts my love,” LadyLlyn said.

The third and final blow came that very night.

Their lovemaking had always been passionate and tonight they were waking the neighbours and their neighbours’ neighbours. With LadyLlyn on top Gwyn thought he might get a little bit kinky, he lifted his hand and brought it down on LadyLlyn silky backside.

Immediately she stopped.

“Oh Gwyn my love, you have struck me a third and final blow.” LadyLlyn stood up, tied her sweaty hair back with a band, quietly got dressed and then left.

Gwyn couldn’t believe it. It had been part of the fun, just a playful slap.

He waited sure she would come back; sure this was just a game, but she didn’t.  He sent her a text but there was no reply. He tried to call but the line was dead, even her Facebook account was gone. She had disappeared off the face of the earth.

Gwyn spent the rest of his days searching the dating website for his love, but although there were plenty of fish in that lake there was no sign of LadyLlyn.