Thursday, 17 March 2016

Star Wars - A Steve Rant

For any newcomers to the blog, Steve is a recurring character who likes to rant to his long-suffering friend Johnny about the little things in life. Here is an example, and here is another.
For audio click here
“Did you see the demo today?” Steve asked as he put the pint glasses on the table.
“Yeah there weren’t many of them, were there? I thought there’d be more.” Johnny took a gulp of beer.
“There were more police than demonstrators.” Steve agreed.
“Mind you,” Johnny began, wiping foam off his top lip, “the few that were there were making mischief. There were two on the roof when I walked past. Playing cat and mouse with the police, they were. I reckon the sniper on the Admiral building opposite was itching to take them out.”
“What gets me,” Steve shifted into rant pose. Johnny fired up the force field, “is that I saw at least two peace protesters wearing Star Wars t-shirts.”  Steve sat back as if he’d already won the argument, but he was going to have to work harder than that. Johnny contemplated letting him leave it there, but he had to admit his interested was piqued.
“So?” He asked.
“Well the protestors are happy for war to rage in space but not on earth. It’s okay for Luke and co to oppose tyrants, but down on earth we have to find peaceful solutions to conflicts.”
“Two things Steve. One, it’s fiction. And two, since when were you a supporter of war?”
“I’m not, you know that, but I just think it’s hypocritical to be such fervent fans of one war and so against others.”
“I refer you to my first point, Steve. Star Wars is a film not a documentary.”
“Yeah okay it’s fictional, but it still uses violent imagery and advanced weaponry to sell the movie. It glorifies war. I bet those wearing those t-shirts have fantasised about destroying the Death Star and killing innocent people. I don’t think you can be against the arms trade and pro-Star Wars, for me it doesn’t tally.”
“It’s fictional Steve and anyway it’s less about war and more about insurrection. They are freedom fighters, the resistance to a tyrannical regime.” Johnny said.
“Johnny don’t be naïve,” Steve countered.  “A civil war is still a war. It still needs weapons, which means there needs to be an arms trade. Which is what that demonstration was opposing today, imagine Star Wars with no arms trade, Star Tiddly Winks doesn’t have the same ring to it.” Steve laughed at his own joke.
“You’re an idiot Steve.” Johnny said, “and that’s me being kind.” But Steve ignored the insult.
“In my opinion Darth Vader and his ilk could wipe out the rebels easily. But he doesn’t. Why not? Because he owns the means of mass production. All the weapons the Rebels are buying, it’s putting money into his coffers. The Rebels are blindly funding his improvements to the Death Star.”

“As I said, you’re an idiot, Steve” Johnny said and got up to go to the toilet, leaving Steve muttering to himself about how Vader could afford the new en suite bathroom with all mod cons on the Death Star.

No comments:

Post a Comment