Friday 19 December 2014

Breastfeeding

Recently in the UK those crazy UKIPS said that women shouldn’t breastfeed ostentatiously. By coincidence I saw two breastfeeding mothers in cafes this week. This is my story. 





The voice coming from the speakers reminded us that it is the most wonderful time of the year. But you wouldn’t know it looking at the woman sat next to me in the café.
She had a face that looked like it might break if she smiled, like her expression had been set in stone or more likely Botox. Even the sight of the little baby next to her failed to melt her face and her face looked like it was made out of meltable material. She glared at her husband, at the waitress and at anyone else who got into her eye line.  She was talking on her phone or should I say barking, letting the whole café know that her minion was not performing to her expectations.
But then amazingly her facial expression changed, she went from bulldog chewing a wasp to lion chewing a porcupine.  What had caused the impossible to happen? She’d caught sight of the young mother next to her pulling up her top so the cute little fella could have his lunch.
‘That’s disgusting!’ The woman said loudly to no one in particular. ‘A disgrace’ she added. ‘This is a public place.’
Her husband nodded his support probably too scared to do anything but agree with his stern faced wife.
‘Miss, um miss,’ the po-faced woman had got the attention of the waitress, ‘please tell that woman to cover up.’ She instructed.
The mother was blushing now, as was the waitress who didn’t seem to know what to do.
‘Um Miss,’ I said mocking the Botoxed one’s expression. The waitress turned to me, seemingly pleased to escape the glare of the soulless one. ‘Please tell that mother not to cover up,’ I said. ‘I am greatly enjoying witnessing nature at its most beautiful.’ There was a cheeky grin on my face; a grin I directed at the humourless table.
I felt sorry for the poor waitress, an innocent victim in the crossfire. She now had a choice to make. But she didn’t have to worry, soulless woman made it for her.
‘Oh my god! I mean, oh my god.’ The woman turned her attention to me. ‘Who on earth do you think you are?’ She asked.
‘Um me’ I said. ‘I think I’m me and I’m as entitled to my opinion as you are. I happen to like her breast feeding in this café.’
2 half eaten cakes, and 2 half drunk coffees were left on the table as the woman threw money at the waitress and dragged her faithful husband out of the café. Meanwhile the baby had finished its lunch and was gurgling happily oblivious to the whole scene that had played out before him. 


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