Wednesday, 4 January 2017

Brussel Sprouts

For audio click here
Work in progress -1st Draft
Be warned, this doesn't have a red warning but it might put you off your cornflakes.

Penny looked at the blood on her hands and at the penis on the floor and thought about panicking. She should panic really; she’d just cut off her boyfriend’s dick. But she didn’t really feel like it. Panicking wouldn’t get her anywhere. How did she feel? Empty, a bit disappointed if the truth be told. It had all been a bit of an anti-climax. She’d expected it to have been a more thrilling, more satisfying, but the revenge needed more sugar. She’d also expected it to have put up a bit more of a fight. But it had come off as easy as you like; like slicing a Brussel sprout off its stalk. Nick hadn’t even let out a blood-curdling scream. He’d just said what the fuck? and then, when he realised what the fuck was, he started thrashing around pulling at the restraints. Even that hadn’t lasted long. Now, he was going a kind of milky white and his voice was croaking. She noticed the wounds on his wrists. Strangely, the smudge of blood there made her feel a little queasy.
“Call a fucking ambulance.” Nick whispered. There were to be his last words… for now.
She’d call an ambulance, but in her own time. Before that she needed to wash her hands. She didn’t want to get blood on her phone, did she?

She watched them take him away. He looked quite peaceful really, lying there on that stretcher, the oxygen mask over his pale face.
“So you say he did it to himself,” the police officer asked.
“Yes,” Penny said. “I was in the other room and I heard a scream, I came in and there it was on the floor. I tried to stop the bleeding, then put the dick… er… penis… er… appendage on ice and then called you guys. I think he’d had a go at his wrists first.”
“It must have been quite a shock.” The police officer said. Penny looked at her. She couldn’t believe the copper was buying her half-cocked story. She tried not to smile at the pun she’d thought up.
“You’ll need to come with us to give a statement, but it shouldn’t take long. Then you can go and be with Nick.”

“Thank you, officer,” Penny said, but she had no intention of going to the hospital. As soon as she’d given her statement, she was going to be on the first plane to anywhere.


  1. Silly :-) Why would she do it anyway

    1. maybe she doesn't like Brussel Sprouts.