Monday, 5 June 2017

Uniforms Part 1

For audio click here 

Walking down the street in a uniform gave Conrad a feeling he’d never known could exist. Some people smiled at him, some just nodded, some snarled, but everyone noticed him. He found himself walking a little taller, his shoulders back, his chest out; he was the man. Men and women in football tops milled around everywhere while the proper police checked manhole covers and litter bins to ensure Cardiff was safe for the big day. 
“Everything okay,” Trev said to a couple sitting looking at a map. 
“Yes thanks,” they said.
“Good, good, let us know if you need any help.” 
“What are you doing?” Jess snarled, “you said we’d just go for a walk.” 
“I’m being a Community Enforcement Officer,” Trev said. ‘That’s what they do?”
“How the fuck do you know that’s what they do?” 
“What else would they do?”
“You’ll get us caught.” Jess snapped. 
“Relax.” Trev was off in the direction of a homeless man, Jess and Conrad looked at each other and caught up with him.
“Alright mate?” Trev said. 
“Who are you? You’re not police.”
“Community Enforcement Officers mate, just checking everything’s okay.”
“It’s fine,” the homeless man stared at the three of them. 
“Great,” Trev knelt down so he was at the man’s eye level. “What’s your name, sunny?” 
 “Well, listen here Eddie, we want you out of the centre for the big match.” 
“What? Where am I supposed to go?”
“You’re homeless, Eddie you can go anywhere.” Trev walked off.
Conrad was feeling less comfortable in his uniform now. Yes, people still respected him and the Air Force blue suited him, but Trev was stepping a fine line. “Let’s go home,” he said. 
“Yeah let’s,” Jess agreed. 
“I was just getting started,” Trev could see he was outvoted. 

“See I told you it would work,” Trev was still buzzing as he supped 90p lager from a can. “So many uniforms on the streets of Cardiff for the football, no one is going to bat an eyelid.” 
“You were pushing it though,” Jess said. 
“And that was all part of the fun, you’ve got to live dangerously.” He looked at Conrad. “You have it admit it was cool.” 
Conrad nodded.
“Best thirty quid I’ve spent on eBay,” Trev declared, taking another swig of his beer. "Until you pussies ruined it.” 
“We didn’t ruin it, we got out when the going was good,” Jess stood up. 
“Nah you chickened it, bloody cowards. Did you see how many people were in uniforms out there? No one cared about us. But you two had to kill the joy.” Trev replied. 
“If we’d got caught the joy would have been dead and buried,” Jess left the room. 
“Next time Conrad, we won’t take Miss Piss Her Pants and then we’ll have some real fun.” 
There’s going to be a next time? Conrad thought, but he didn’t think now was the best time to argue with Trev. 

For part 2 click here

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