Cat Fights

When their boss announced that they were getting three office cats they thought he was joking, but he wasn’t. Two days later a tabby, a blue and a tortoiseshell were introduced into the open plan, much to the excitement of 96% of the room. Kylie loved the idea - in her opinion cats were the cutest thing on earth, dogs, babies, ducklings have nothing on cats in the cuteness stakes. So Kylie was like the cat that got the cream. Or the cream that got the cat.

The three kittens were shy at first but soon became playful. They were the cutest funnest little things you could imagine. The idea behind the cats was that it would lower the stress levels of the employees and lead to a more productive staff. The boss had read an article about offices in Japan bringing cats in and had made the decision. 
But to be honest he hadn’t thought it through. Each cat had its problems. Tabby was an incontinent little thing, the poor love peed everywhere and try as they might, they couldn’t get her to use the litter tray. The office soon smelt like a gents urinal and on more than one occasion staff had to go home to change clothes thanks to tabby’s little accidents. Blue was always hungry, not hungry for food but hungry for wires, she loved the cable. It was like cat nip to her. Turn your back for a second and there she was munching her way through power cords, internet leads or the printer connections. You had to save everything you did every three minutes because without warning the whole office would short circuit as blue had munched her way through another cable. As for tortoise well she was just loud, she yelled at everything and everyone. She had the body of a kitten but the roar of Susan Boyle.

But if the cats were misbehaving, that was nothing compared to the staff.  Mark complained loudly every hour on the hour that offices were not the place for animals.  Meanwhile Maisy began putting catnip in her pockets to attract the cats to her. There she was with cats on her lap and her desk whereas the rest of the staff (except Mark) were left jealously admiring from a far.

So one lunchtime with Maisy out of the office, Kylie grabbed her chance, grabbed blue and plonked the cat on her lap, enjoying the purring cat falling asleep on her. It turned out to be true; she was less stressed and more productive with a sleeping kitten on her lap.

But when Maisy came back, she exploded.

‘What is my cat doing on your lap?’ she roared, even louder than tortoise.

‘It’s not your cat Maisy.’ Kylie said, stroking blue.

‘Well she’s not yours either and she likes me more.’ Jesus it was like being in school.

‘See and this is why we shouldn’t have cats.’ Mark said with predictable timing.

‘Stay out of it Mark’ Maisy said and came and tried to take blue off Kylie’s lap.

‘Maisy leave it, she’s happy here.’ Kylie said. But she wasn’t. Blue leapt away and hid under the desk looking for cables to comfort herself with.

‘Look what you’ve done.’ Maisy screamed and the thwack reverbed around the office. Kylie recoiled, holding her face and doing that thing where you look at your hand for evidence of damage when it’s the face that’s injured.

‘You bitch,’ Kylie growled and stalked forward like a cat ready to pounce. Luckily Mark and Jonah managed to separate the two women before blood was spilt.

Strangely the next day the staff got to the office to find that all signs of any cats had been removed.

http://www.odditycentral.com/animals/japanese-company-fills-offices-with-cats-to-help-employees-unwind-and-improve-productivity.html