Wednesday 18 March 2015

Stuck in a lift.

My 600th Post!!!!* 600 posts does not mean 600 stories, some posts have been news and adverts etc. 
According to Wales Online this week Lionel Richie concert goers were stuck in a lift in Cardiff after the gig. Here's my account of what I imagine might have happened. See explanation at the end. 


For audio click here



I hate lifts at the best of times but when there are 17 other people joining me in one, I start to feel a little queasy. But the car was parked on the sixth floor and there was no way I was walking, not with my ankle. So as the doors slid closed I held my breath and counted to ten waiting for the short ordeal to be over. Why were there so many people? The car park was normally deserted at this time of night.  We sailed on past floor one, but just before the second floor the lift croaked like a dying frog, then there was a rumbling noise like someone was dancing on the ceiling, then we shuddered to a halt. There was silence, everyone stood still, listening for a clue to what was going on. It’s just a glitch, I said to myself. I wasn’t going to panic, well not yet anyway.
‘Hello’ someone said, what’s this then?’
‘We seem to be stuck on two,’ another voice piped up. Everyone laughed, Ah yes there’d been a Lionel Richie concert in town, obviously everyone had been to that; it was a nice pun.
‘Press the button,’ someone said. I realised they were talking to me, I was closest to the alarm.
I pressed the alarm, once twice, three times, a lady answered.
‘Hi we’re stuck in the lift in St David’s Centre.’ I said.
‘You are?’ She replied. ‘On no, let’s try to get this sorted out.’ She said.
‘Hurry up, lady,’ I replied, ‘I don’t want to be here all night long.’
Everyone was still again, someone was breathing heavily like a walrus with sinusitis. It was getting hot, too hot to trot and not enough room to trot either. This was not my idea of a wonderland.
Oh god, what if it was my destiny to die in a lift, what if this was it? I could feel the air closing in around me. My tender heart was beating like a machine gun in my chest. This wasn’t the road to heaven that I would have chosen.
Someone was speaking into a mobile phone. ‘Yeah in a lift… there’s about 20 people… I know… it could be endless, love…. Hey I need to save my battery… oh yes, good idea, you’re an angel.’  She killed the call and announced to the rest of us that her husband was going to call the fire brigade.
‘We’re all going to die.’ I yelled. I was really panicking now, this was it. ‘Truly, we’re all going to die.’
‘Easy fella.’ A large man put his hand on my shoulder.
‘Hey everyone calm down,’ a small quiet looking man said. ‘Let’s hold hands and prey for our rescue. After all, love will conquer all.’
‘We’re doomed,’ I said again.
‘Calm down or I’m going to slap you.’ The large man warned.
‘Do it to me.’ I said defiantly.
He lifted his hand up but a noise interrupted him, a metallic clunk and whirr. The doors moved, slowly edging open and a fireman’s helmet became visible. Soon we were hauled free and I could go home.

‘Goodbye’ I said to no one in particular and marched off towards my car feeling like I was flying high with freedom.

Did you recognise any LR song titles in that text. Check out this list. (I think there are 21) 
Lionel Richie the Definitive Collection (From Wikipedia) 

Disc 1[edit]

  1. "All Night Long (All Night)"
  2. "Say You, Say Me"
  3. "My Destiny"
  4. "Running with the Night"
  5. "Dancing on the Ceiling"
  6. "Don't Stop the Music"
  7. "Love, Oh Love"
  8. "Ballerina Girl"
  9. "Love Will Conquer All"
  10. "Do It to Me"
  11. "Cinderella"
  12. "Tender Heart"
  13. "Don't Wanna Lose You"
  14. "The Closest Thing to Heaven"
  15. "I Forgot"
  16. "Angel"
  17. "To Love a Woman" (feat. Enrique Iglesias)
  18. "Goodbye"
  • The UK version has "My Loveinserted before "Love Will Conquer All" and removes "Goodbye"

Disc 2[edit]

  1. "Three Times a Lady"
  2. "Easy"
  3. "Endless Love"
  4. "Hello"
  5. "Still"
  6. "Sail On"
  7. "Stuck on You"
  8. "You Are"
  9. "Truly"
  10. "Just to Be Close to You"
  11. "Sweet Love"
  12. "Penny Lover"
  13. "Oh No"
  14. "Lady (You Bring Me Up)"
  15. "Wonderland"
  16. "Machine Gun"
  17. "Brick House"
  18. "Too Hot Ta Trot"
  19. "Flying High"
  20. "Zoom"

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