The Course part 1

‘Look Geoff, you have to do something about your interpersonal skills, I’m getting complaints from colleague and customers alike, it’s time you did something. There are courses you can go on you know, to improve your presentations and your communication skills,’ Derek handed a leaflet to the less than impressed looking employee. ‘I suggest you go on one, soon. Your next appraisal is in six months' time and I want to see a marked improvement by then. Do you understand me?’ Geoff nodded and slunk out of his boss’s office and back into his own. It wasn’t the first time he’d been told he had the communication skills of an East German border guard,  but this time the tone of the boss’s voice suggested it was his final warning. He looked at the leaflet his boss had given him, ‘Improve your oral skills and leave your customers satisfied. This course promises to boost your confidence and show you techniques and tricks that will put you ahead of the game.’ Geoff looked at the price and scoffed. He noted to himself there’d been no offer to cover the cost of the course - oh no this was coming out of his own pocket.

Geoff picked up the phone and booked a three-day residential course. The company would have to give him the three days off at least.

The day finally arrived, Geoff took himself off to the hotel, He wasn’t looking forward to this at all; he’d had more enthusiasm for the speed awareness course he’d been sent on. When Geoff arrived at the venue, he couldn’t help but notice he was the only man, the other participants standing around drinking coffee were all women, young women, and he had to admit pretty sexy women. If this is how aspiring 21^st Century business leaders dressed, Geoff wished he was 20 years younger.  He took a coffee and stood in the corner trying to hide in broad daylight but hiding was impossible. A greying, balding, over-weight forty something in a room full of young women, it was soon evident they were talking about him. He had flashbacks to youth club discos.

‘Can you all come into the main room now please.’ The voice was school ma’amly, further reinforcing Geoff’s feeling that he was 17 again. They filed in. Geoff was still convinced the chatter was about him. As they took their seats he saw them, in front of each participant was an incredibly life like plastic penis. What kind of course was this?

The school ma’am was standing in front of them. ‘Welcome to the course ladies and err gentleman. We hope you enjoy it, have fun, but more importantly learn lots of tips to help you improve your oral skills.’

Geoff blushed as the penny dropped.